Woo, haven’t been here in a while. Well, I’m back, and I’m just going to get straight to the point.
I’m absolutely terrified. Recently my boyfriend has been getting really close with my ex best friend. It started out as “oh she doesn’t even know my name” and now he’s calling her his best friend. He’s called her pretty before, and even admitted to having a crush on her while we were dating. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve already told him that him hanging out with her like that and bringing her up all of the time makes me uncomfortable, to which he responded “Idk, she’s my friend, I can’t just stop talking to her.” Which is fair, but still… I love him so much and I could never bring myself to leave him, but what if he leaves me first? He’s been so distant lately, and I’m scared I’ve finally started annoying him and pushing him to his breaking point. Am I being over dramatic for worrying? What do I do? Is he moving on? I can’t lose him.
Hey @midarii
I know that feeling of insecurity when someone you care deeply for starts to have outside friendships with other women. It can hurt so bad and bring up insecurities, which then bring out the worst parts of us.
I think you have every reason to feel hurt and also like things are on shaky ground. I would for sure if I was in your shoes, I have been the “jealous girlfriend” in the past for sure. I can only imagine it’s worse because you know this other person from previous friendships.
Your feelings are 100% valid.
Maybe try to spend time with your boyfriend more and if he is planning stuff with the ex friend you should try to be involved as well, that way it doesn’t feel like you are missing out. Even though it is awkward it might be the best way to see if things settle down or if more conversations need to go on between you two.
At the same time if something is going on or things don’t work out, it is going to be tough but you will be ok. You deserve to have a partner who is equally invested in the relationship as you are. Think of who you were before the relationship. You are still that person, just with more experience in life.
Take care/Mish
Thanks Mish, I really like the “You are still that person, just with more experience in life.” line, really puts a new perspective. 
<3
ack why’d it change it to the weird scary smile emoji !! whoopsies
Glad to hear, sometimes we need to change our perspective
this is a tough one. Insecurity can be hard to shake. really communicate with each other, and try to spend time together to make your relationship stronger.
It’s strange, if he were not talking about her, it would also seem like he’s hiding something!
So the best thing to do is to make sure you clearly state your expectations of the relationship: faithfulness, no cheating, open communication, etc, whatever is important to you.
If things improve, that would be great. If they don’t, then you can rest assured you did what you had to. Hang in there and really hope things work out for you!
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