Im so done

Im so done bro. My girlfriend cheated on me. Thats the third time ive been cheated on IN A ROW. She broke up with me because she didnt like the way i got mad at her cause she cheated🤣. Im so done i want to die so bad, i miss my grandpa i miss everybody ive ever lost along my journey, i picked up drinking the day she cheated on me(2 days ago) and im so drunk rn writing this just trying to numb myself. Im only 15 years old and im
In rehab, i yelled at my parents and i made my momma cry. I hate everything about myself and im so ready to off myself and just give up, i hate my life so much and im just so done bro i hate everything ive ever gone through, and i just hate myself so much i dont know why im such a failure and just fail every single time to please people i dont even understand how to live anymore


I’m sorry you’re experiencing so much pain. I’m glad you’re safe. Allow yourself to acknowledge the grief, but also be patient and forgiving toward yourself, just as you would be toward a friend who’s suffering as you are.

When you’re young, you’re obliged to please some people, for example teachers and parents. You don’t have to try and please your friends all the time. Pleasing yourself is important too. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll not be able to meet all the expectations of others. Sometimes, as you’ve already learned, it’s not even possible to live up to self-expectations. The missing elephant in the room is that it’s necessary to maintain a degree of unconditional self-acceptance. Your life is changing constantly. You’ve learning more and gaining the wisdom to make best use of that knowledge, but it’s a process, and it your life will change over time as a result.

Feeling “so done” is understandable. I suggest you continue to acknowledge feeling “so done” while you’re in a safe place. Such feelings are part of the process of being human, and they do pass, to be replaced by other feelings, such as acceptance and hope. When you’re in a really dark place, you can’t see the light, but be assured it’s still there.

You may meet a lot of cheating girls, but one day, you’ll meet someone who won’t cheat. Failed relationships are part of standard procedure. In the process you’ll discover what you really want in a partner. You might think you already know, but there’s a lot more to learn.

Please stay in touch!

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sussiest baka,

Brutal. To open yourself up, betrayal. Try again. Betrayal. And again. Betrayal. The pain in and of itself is enough, but then it surfaces all kinds of insecurity and doubt. It just deepens the well of self-hatred that your life has dug for you, and that now you don’t care if you are the one holding the shovel. It is just all too much. You try to drink away the pain, but it’s still there. It feels inescapable. And the future feels inevitable - if I trust again, won’t I just be betrayed? How much lower can I go? Is there anything I can do that would ever bring me out of this hole, or am I doomed to be here forever? It’s hard to see through the haze of these questions, through the thickness of the pain. It just feels irreparable. And in that place, it feels hopeless to try.


im so confused as to why god loves to throw me so many intrusive suprises every single day. im in rehab today and i go to the bathroom and look at my phone and i see my ex from july has started to follow me on instagram and reply to my story, for those who dont know shes this girl who had intercourse with her guy bestfriend and i got sent a picture from him of her on top of him. Shes the reason why i even started smoking weed, and why im still so depressed and i just dont know what to do. i get overwhelmed so quickly and i hate it. im literally in rehab typing this rn while im shaking. im still so hurt by her actions and i just dont know what she wants or what i should do, somebody please help me please


Hi there friend,

I’m so sorry to hear about these troubles you’re having lately, especially today. I know how hard it is to feel paranoid that someone like that is watching you. I think, that if she is as bad as an influence like this to you, in my own opinion, it may be for the best for you to block her. You are deserving of being able to set boundaries, and be able to heal without her presence causing further issues for you. I would like to provide you with , which is a hotline with trained counselors in relationship counseling. They can help provide support, resources, and knowledge towards your struggles.

I think, in any relationship, whether it’s romantic or platonic, a great starting point for you may be to look at setting boundaries for yourself. Here are some handouts below to learn and work on making boundaries for yourself:

I hope these can help you get started on your process with healing from this negative experience. Let us know if there’s any way we can help.

Take care, hun.


Hey, I understand why this is so upsetting. I’m so sorry for what you are going through rn. I saw in your other post you are 15 years old. 15 was a hard age for me too, that’s when everything started for me and please don’t worry too much or you’ll be putting yourself in more harm that you arent aware of. Unconsciously, its possible to harm yourself mentally if you worry too much I’m sure you know that. I’ve also had VERY shitty relationships, which didn’t involve cheating it involved other heartbreaking things.

i know how it feels to not be involved with someone anymore due to traumatic events and then suddenly being involved with them again but not in a relationship… if that makes sense.

If people don’t want anything to do with you then take that as a sign!! THEY’RE ASSHOLES! and i bet it’s not just towards you. You do not deserve to deal with people like this. You are not alone with anything you face! You have to remember that. And i know sometimes it sucks to hear that because it feels like you’re being told “you arent special, so stop complaining”. But i mean this from the bottom of my heart… YOU ARENT ALONE :heart: :slight_smile: I mean this like → you don’t have to suffer on your own :slight_smile: you have sources and people you can talk to on here! Like me!! If you need to just contact me and we can talk things through, and maybe i can give you some advice! You may be doubtful of this but all of us on this platform LOVE YOU… We don’t even know you but we see how you’re struggling and automatically we want to know whats wrong and we immediately try to figure out a solution or just worthy advice. We all care. And also its very motivating to come one here and comment on others post! Sometimes you say really inspiring things to people and it gives them a boost, and that boost reflects right back on you and that feeling of happiness just hits you! There are some really wonderful options you have as just a quick fix from sadness! I want you to think about all of this.

You are loved! :heart:

-Ashley (this was a rant so i hope at least some of it made sense :slight_smile: )


From: The Blind Ash

My friend, I am so sorry you are struggling with these things. Firstly I am grateful you have come and shared this with us. That in itself takes a lot of courage to admit you dont know how to handle a situation I am proud of you for knowing you cant handle this and seeking help with this. I cant entirely tell you what she wants or what entirely to do but I can say that its a choice you personally need to decide. Do you still want her in your life? I am not sure if she is someone worth that or not. I do know that sometimes bumps in all relationships happen and it just takes the time to heal from them and than work through those things with the specific person. I am also aware that perhaps it is just too much pain on you to do so than I say ignore her and even if you feel up too it mute her messages and or remove her completely. I also want to say I am glad you are seeking the help with stuff she has caused issues with in your life. That takes a lot of strength and wisdom on your part. I am unsure if they have this or not but perhaps if you get to see a therapist/ counsler it would be wise to discuss this with them. I know that one of the biggest and best pieces of advice I was given in my life is that is this person worth the time and energy you are putting into the relationship. I was also taught recently that sometimes we need to be the one that looks out for us to get up and say hey I need to put me first if that means not having contact with someone that stop having that contact at the time perhaps later you can try and see if it is still a non positive situation or if it is a positive one. I really know that sometimes taking ourselves away from someone can help us gain a perspective of the fact that this is not good for me or that I do miss this person here is what they helped with for me. Just know take care of you. Hold fast Ash


From: ManekiNeko

being young and having experienced heartache and loss is heavy! You can really start to wonder if things will go on like that forever. People have different intentions and priorities when they’re young compared to when they’re older. Hopefully with time there will be people who come into your life who provide more stability and support.

it sounds like your parents are trying to be supportive and maybe their worry and concern seems extreme, but when it comes to their child, they can’t help it.
trying to please people is hard. Like wings said, when you’re young you’re expected to. You’re expected to do what you’re told because that’s what you HAVE to do. I guess at times it’s hard to balance how much you let someone young explore and make their own choices and how much you try to protect them for their own safety.


Hi sussiest_baka,
i feel sorry to hear about all of that. thank you for all of that. losing someone is often hard, in your teenage years
you should have other things to deal with. also with your girlfriend. when it comes to cheating, it is the worst
someone could do. all of that is not your fault at all. your parents are there for you, i believe your friends will also
be there.
it is hard to see through all of this, it is often hard to cope with so many things coming at you at once. give yourself
the time you need, take care my friend and go easy on yourself. you are and you will do great. you matter most !
you are loved and you are worth of so many good things in this world. feel hugged


I am giving you a MASSIVE cuddle and I want you to know, you are going to be okay.

But first, you need to get sober this will only heighten your emotions (for the worst) and leave you feeling even worse tomorrow and so on and so forth. You need to get STRONG. YOU are strong, you have came on and poured your heart out.

You yelled at your parents not because you don’t love them or you mean any harm but you have not yet got the coping mechanisms to cope with loss and disrespect. This is where YOU need to do the hard work and work on yourself. Believe me, YOU are worth it. You get yourself to that gym, You delete her number. She isn’t worthy your love and time. Work on yourself, Start loving yourself that’s what I have found out and I have only just found this out at the age of 28 years old. How can someone else love you if you don’t love yourself?

You are allowed to fail, continue to fail failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing. you fail you try again you fail you try again but sooner or later your going to get it. What do you enjoy? Are you at school? Are you in a sports team? Have you got good friends?

Let me know, I’m here to listen and understand.
All my love, Stay Strong.
You have an amazing future ahead of you.



I think anyone in your situation would feel hurt and betrayed. Trusting someone isn’t easy for some people. Especially when it comes to fitting that trust into a relationship like that. I think the shock of seeing her name show up must have been very overwhelming for you! It’s hard to move on when something from the past comes unexpectedly. Maybe blocking that account would help you move forward. It can be hard to not engage and I’m sure you still have all those lingering questions, and I’m sure she may even have a million excuses or reasons. One thing you can look forward to is developing new friendships and relationships, and they will also help you start to heal, but right now it sounds like you need the time to be able to focus on yourself. I don’t know if your rehab does some talk therapy, but it’s helpful to talk it out and hear that people have your back. We also have your back! I hope this week will be easier for you

Hi Baka,
thank you for sharing that. your focus should be right now on yourself. only on yourself. you can only heal when
you let go on things. not to think about that anymore.
she is following you ? she cheated on you, so you should not care what she is doing on social media stuff.
i would even stay away from that. much of social media has a toxic influence on many people , but that is my
opinion on it. not everything but most of it. when it comes to feelings in the direction of love, your head is out of
that summary then. your heart takes over. then it gets harder.
love is the strongest force on earth.
that is why it is so hard. even later in life your heart can hurt more then any injury you can imagine. a heartbreak
is always something really worse. focus on yourself. take care of yourself now and don’t think about others.
they did not give a sh** about your feelings. so why bothering with them ? you are more important. you matter most.
you deserve so much better than that. you are not responsible for the actions she did. that was not your fault.
you are responsible for your actions. you are in charge of your life. you are taking your steps on your pace.
people come and go. but you have to live with yourself a bit longer than that. so you need to take care of yours.
find things that you love to do, spend your time with that. with people who are honest to you, people who love you.
you are loved, and you matter. hold on. you do great. feel hugged my friend :purple_heart:

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for posting, Im sorry all this has happened to you, reiterating what others have said to you though. This relationship was over, was verging on toxic and even if it wasnt at the time it certainly is now and you dont need this in your life, Maybe its time to move on, block this girl, get yourelf well and out of rehab where you can focus on meeting a new honest date that will make you happy, I wish you well with all of it, you deserve to be happy. Much Love Lisa x

From: Dr Hogarth

Hi Sussiest_Baka,

I’m not surprised your shaking and feeling overwhelmed. I’m just going to agree with everyone else here and say you need to block this girl. What has happened between you has had an enormous affect on your wellbeing, and your wellbeing needs to be the priority here. I think it is entirely understandable and reasonable for you to put up boundaries in this situation. Even someone twice your age would find that a very stressful interaction.

I know this is hard. Anyone who has ever gone through heartbreak, and all the conflicting emotions and sheer panic that it brings, knows it’s hard. I promise you though, it will get easier, but there needs to be a clear line drawn with no confusion. This is the day you go your separate ways and this is the day you start to care for yourself.

Never hesitate to post here if you are feeling overwhelmed. It’s going to be okay, and you will move past this. x

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First off, that is so effed. It is totally okay and understandable to be upset and really hurting right now, as well as angry at her! I think this is a call for healthy boundaries. I would just block her. You deserve to have people around you who make your life better. And if someone in your life is hurtful like that it is a reminder of who you are not. You needn’t judge her, because in her own way she is probably suffering too. Hurt people hurt people, but that does not make them bad. But it is appropriate to take space and protect your bubble of who gets to influence you.

There is always a hidden blessing in toxic dynamics like this in that you learn something from it. (The tricky thing about life is that if you don’t understand what its trying to teach you it will hit you with the same lesson again and again worse than before). BUT, when you understand, you are free in a new way. You have unearthed some insight about yourself or others that frees you from an old pattern. You can learn to identify and avoid people in the future who might treat you the same way. You’ve got new radar.

If the time or inspiration strikes you, I would look into attachment theory. It is something I have found profoundly eye opening in helping me understand why I am attracted to certain types of people and why I feel a certain way about them, and what I can do to change it. Be patient with yourself, these things don’t get better overnight, but the pain does pass in time and you will be the stronger and wiser for it. Here’s a quick video about attachment:


I think God believes you are mighty strong. Mighty resilient.
That is a lot.
Sometimes He likes to lead through the dark night of the soul to get to the other side. Take you the hard road because there is so much to learn on that path.
I would gently suggest you delete your social media accounts, as you do not need to be “followed” to find your way. And seeing her name will only open the wound deeper.
It is time to take care of you. Let the people at your rehabilitation center hold you. Help you. Lift you up so you can move forward.
You can do this.
You are good.
You deserve kindness and love.
And even when you think He is not there, He is.