I’m so sorry you were experiencing this pain. I hope you’ve been feeling a bit better since you posted this.
I hear you. It is indeed unfair to make so much efforts for your well being, then have to deal with the effects of a medication that doesn’t suit you.
Despite all of this, you’ve been taking some huge steps by going to the psychiatrist and starting a new medication. You can be proud of yourself for this. Unfortunately, it can take some time before you find the right treatment. I wish your first experience wasn’t like this. But I also want to encourage you to keep hope in your heart and to keep trying. You’ll find the medications that work for you.
Take care of yourself as much as needed in these circumstances.
But also don’t let this experience discourage you. Looking after what’s going to be a pillar of support to you is worth it. YOU are worth it.
This is a journey in itself. We’re in this with you.
If that’s okay, I’d love to hear about how things are going for you.