First of all, sorry for my terible english grammar, I’m not fluent in english and really suck at writing.
I am a 18 years old teenage girl, I use social media almost everytime, I see pictures of beautiful girls, I know this is superficial, I know that not all of them are as beautiful as it seems. But I keep thinking that I’m ugly, everytime I look at the mirror, I ask myself why I don’t have a good face shape, why I have flat nose, uneven skin tone, a lot of fine lines below my eyes due to my lack of sleep, the skin around my eye is super thin, my teacher often ask if I was okay, because my face look like that I’m about to pass out.
This condition get worse when I have a boyfriend, he keeps telling me that I’m uglier than her uglier than that, I can’t help it, but he’s the only love I can get. My parents not helping either, I don’t have a good relation with them, my mom usually calls me ugly, or unworthy, and she would yell at me for no reason at all.
When I was a child, I don’t really care if a person is beautiful or not, but I think right now, Im so judgemental, I feel like a bad person, and I can’t love myself, I keep comparing me to other girls, They are smarter, funnier, healthier, taller. I really want to break up with my boyfriend but I don’t have enough confident to do so. I feel so insecure about myself and keep on underestimating myself. I don’t know what to do.