hello everyone, I don’t exactly know where to start but I’m really struggling with staying motivated. I have completely lost interest in working and want to drop out of college. I have a little bit to go but i don’t see myself here anymore. This is more of doing it for my parents. I can’t really see myself anywhere because I’ve been bossed around so much that i have social issues and anxiety. I have tried working out or taking up a hobby but end up back in the same spot every year.
My first suggestion is to go to a mental health professional, either through your college’s health center or by doing a search for “therapist + name of town/zip code.” I am not a professional, but your symptoms
are exactly how I felt in my depressive episodes. I started going to therapy and support groups and everything gradually started to get better.
Me as well, especially from high school through sophomore year. (And the main person doing the bossing around was me.) A therapist will be able to help you deal with these issues & will help you learn to become stronger than them.
“Cultivate the change you seek
Love is not a song sung by the weak.” - Senses Fail, “The Three Marks of Existence”
Remember to breathe when things become overwhelming. Reach out for help. Envision a potential future where you are happy and do everything you can to make it come to pass.
xx ~dit2 
riffraff,
Man, sucks to be in a position where you feel like where you’re at isn’t where you want top e…to feel like you’re not living at home but still living for your parents…to feel like you don’t have a place that reflects who you are or can help you get to where you want to go…to feel more or less trapped…it sucks, man. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way…to make matters worse, so many people pose college as the “Best time of their lives” or the “start of their careers” or whatever…and it just feels like it’s been one big disappointment for you, and so you don’t really know where you want to go or what you want to do and feel like because college has been taken off the table, you feel at a loss for what to do now.
And man, I can definitely relate. There were so many times when I was in college just thinking – what’s the point? I discovered that my major (psychology) wasn’t at all what I thought it’d be, and I felt so disillusioned and like I just wanted to leave immediately and do something more worthwhile.
Whatever decision you end up making, I’d recommend you pause to understand really what’s going on underneath the surface. If you make a decision based on emotion (IE – I don’t feel like being here, I don’t feel like I belong, I don’t feel like this is a good use of my time, I feel like I’m just doing this for my parents, I feel like I’m getting bossed around, etc), you’re likely going to make a decision you regret later.
Moreover, there’s things you can learn right here and now about yourself and who you are…for instance – WHY do you feel bossed around? Why do you feel like you have no power to change that? Why do you feel like you’re still living life for your parents? Get curious about what’s going on underneath the emotions. Once you understand why you’re feeling this way, pause and take a look at where you want to go…what is it you want to do with your life? If you don’t know, what things are you wanting to explore? What did you want to be when you were growing up? If money weren’t an issue, what would you want to do? If you can piece together even a glimpse of the vision you want to live in to, and if you can piece together an understanding of your story that’s brought you to this point, you can make a better decision of what to do as a result.
Let me share with you how I made my decision:
I realized that I was feeling trapped at college because I knew I couldn’t be the best. I was trying to finish college early, but I knew there were other people out there that did it faster, and I felt like a failure…like being at college was a reminder that I’d never be the best. And in my story, not being the best meant my dad wouldn’t be proud of me, and I’d prove myself a failure yet again. So I didn’t want to stay at college because it felt like I was reminding the world how big of a failure I was.
But when I looked ahead at what I wanted to do, I didn’t want to be a dropout because I was afraid of being unworthy. I didn’t want to look back on this moment and regret it. Moreover, after some exploration, I found a major that was actually what I wanted to do – communication studies – so I decided to double major instead of dropping out, take classes I enjoy, and finish the race I started so I could be proud of myself in the end even if I wasn’t “the best”. I made a decision to stick it out so I wouldn’t set a precedence for the rest of my life bailing on things if I didn’t do it perfectly. I wanted to be a man who stayed the course, so I stuck it out.
But the only reason I could make that decision was because I took time to understand – why is it really that I want to drop out? What pain am I trying to avoid? and to understand – who is it that I really want to be? What type of man? What do I ultimately want to do? … when I understood those things, I was able to make a powerful decision that set me up to be proud of myself and qualified for my career.
Hope this helps, man.
-Nate
Hey there.
OK, wow, I can hear you struggling in your words.
I don’t know enough of your situation, and ‘a little bit’ is not really a standard of time for me to give advice on, but if it’s indeed just a little bit, like 6 months or less, I can only suggest you bite down and get through it, because the way the world works you have better chances in the world with that diploma than without it, even if you will never work in that field. Because that diploma doesn’t just say ‘I know this knowledge’, it also says ‘I bit through all of this to be able to show you this stupid piece of paper, so I have stamina! I have willpower!’
I don’t have that piece of paper. I am a dropout because I can’t put information from paper into my head, and it has always haunted me, all my life. My life was twice as hard because I couldn’t prove I could recite some stupid words, and if there is any chance for you to avoid that difficulty, then please, go for it. The last steps are always the heaviest, but crossing that finish line is worth it. After getting there you can always decide what to do next, it doesn’t determine your life having that diploma, it just makes it easier.
And if it’s more than 6 months, like a year, or even years, then you have a difficult decision to make, to drop out or switch, if that is even possible… I can only suggest you talk to people about it. Talk to everyone, your friends, your parents, your teachers, people who have your best interest at heart, in short write down their opinions about it, and in the end read all of those through and make a decision.
There is a saying in survival training; Make a decision and stick with it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the wrong one, well, it kinda does, but not doing anything is worse. Make sure to check your ability levels, who you are and what you can do, what you have on your, and what is around you that can help you. Then chart a course, and go do that.
I hope I could help in any way, if only by being here and writing all of this for you to find so you know there are people out there who are looking out for you, and want the best life for you that you can have.
kind regards,
Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy
@riffraff
It’s okay. We all feel that sometimes.
YOU decide where you go in the future. If you want something to happen got to go and do it. College will help you do whatever you want in life, so hold fast. Made it this far, so finish it.
We are here, talk to us whenever you want.
Your heart bleeds through us. 
Well thanks for the help guys. I have 2 semesters left of college. Im going to try to finish it out and look into another field. Alot of my family and old friends were the ones bossing me around causing me to distance myself. Im just really burnt out on life.I just want to work and have some people to talk to.