Man… I’m really sorry that this is your experience right now. I was in that situation about 7 years ago. I broke the lease. You’ll likely look back at this as a time that really shaped you. We’ll, I did. I know it hurts, but you can use this friction to make you a stronger person. Remember to have compassion for yourself and your ex, and try to respond in kindness instead of react out of emotion.
That’s so hard, god I can’t imagine how much your heart is hurting. It’s always hard getting over someone, but it must feel so much harder when they’re living in the same space. Is there any opportunity to move elsewhere or in with your family?
Did you decided to keep living together or is your situation such that you can’t move out? My ex and I broke up 3 years ago and we kept living in the same flats. But it was a decision we made together with rules to keep use safe from hurt. The first month/year was really hard. (I started therapy that year as well)
Finding/doing thing you like help. Finding people to spend time with besides your ex helps. And being close/friends with your ex helps. When you can talk to her about how you feel can help you. Making sure that both your boundaries are in check is super important.
Finding a new partner is important too. Knowing that your ex isn’t the only women out there helps over the grief of the break up.
I want you to know that I do empathize with the immense emotional pain you’re going through right now, even if I do not understand it. It’s like a constant ache in your heart, isn’t it? Living in such close proximity to someone you shared your life with, and now feeling that emotional chasm between you, can be excruciating.
The analogy of feeling like she’s still there but just out of reach, as if she’s a ghost from your past, is incredibly poignant. It’s a heart-wrenching experience to mourn the loss of a relationship while being forced to confront its remnants daily.
I want you to acknowledge the strength it takes to express these feelings, even if it’s through tears and the solace of a song. Your emotions are real and valid, and it’s crucial to allow yourself to grieve this loss. It’s okay to mourn the relationship that once was and the person she used to be in your life.
During this challenging time, please consider leaning on your support network, friends, or a therapist if available. They can provide a lifeline of understanding and comfort. Remember, healing is a gradual process, and with time, the intensity of these emotions will start to subside, and you’ll find your way toward a brighter future. Until then, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel and heal at your own pace. You’re not alone in this journey.
Gosh, it is so hard to have to share place with your ex - even if it is meant to be temporary. It’s like there is just no time and space for you to properly feel and process the loss of your relationship, because she is literally present where you are, which feels like adding salt on a raw wound over and over… You said it so very well: it is like grieving the loss of someone who is alive, and on top of it who is right in front of your eyes. So you are constantly reminded of her, of what you’ve shared together, of the memories of your relationship - with now a very bittersweet taste.
I’m sorry friend that you are dealing with this right now. I can only imagine how much it must feel like trying to catch your breath while swimming in very deep waters. If there are tears during this season, that is absolutely okay - and as much as it is okay to welcome it just as it is. A breakup in itself already brings its share of raw and brutal emotions. There is no doubt that you are trying your best to navigate this challenging time. Know that you have a community by your side here (I know you posted a while ago now, but if you’d like to share some updates, please feel welcome to do so - whether it’s positive or even just when you need to vent/a breather somewhere). You will get through this, friend. One day at a time.