I was on tik tok like normal watching those 3 minute funny videos and stuff. well, trigger warning this gets dark, I stumbled upon one video that had you scroll through pictures. well it had some very disturbing stuff. there was a teddy bear made out of something disturbing and it triggered my psychosis so bad that I have been having psychotic episodes almost every time I think about what I saw on there… I deleted my tik tok. I don’t want to risk seeing even more things that can cause my mental health to decline even further…
So I got really triggered this week. my psychosis was triggered so bad that I was hallucinating and having intense paranoia for three days. It’s over this really disturbing tik tok I’ve seen. some of those images haunt me. I’ve been having weird dreams and though right now I feel calm I know I won’t for long. I am still afraid to look out my windows at night or even around sunset really. i don’t know if my antipsychotics are strong enough. I’m also back on Testosterone. If I went to a hospital to get treated for my psychosis, I don’t know how I will be treated… SO I’m scared
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Hi there, that_pigeon,
Unfortunately, there is a lot of disturbing content on the internet that can reach you even if you try to avoid it. What you went through sounds like a very unpleasant experience, as well as the after effects. How are you feeling at this moment? If you feel comfortable, it could be helpful to write about what it is that scared you. I know that writing helps me process what is happening in my mind.
These dreams, feelings of paranoia, and fear seem to be greatly affecting your life, in the way that your sleep is disturbed and you are unable to enjoy the night time views of the outside world. I know it can be painful to have your mind stuck on a horrible thing that you saw. I also understand the conflict within you: is it worth living in the current fear to avoid the unknown, potentially scary treatment?
In the end, this decision is up to you - it would be impossible for any of us to force you to get treatment or otherwise. I am unable to tell you how the hospital will treat you for this condition, but I hope you feel better soon.
Here for you,
Gremlin
Hi @that_pigeon,
@supportgremlin made a lot of good points. When you are in psychosis what helps calm you down? You can also looked around the room to distract yourself from hallucinations or take a few deep breaths. I hope you are receiving help from a medical professional.
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Hey @that_pigeon
Great to see you! @supportgremlin pretty much nailed my thoughts, and I’ve noticed a lack of moderation when it comes to short form video platforms like TikTok and Instagram. If you’re unsure of whether or not you should get help, it’s always better to err on the side of caution and at least try and talk to someone. There’s many different resources available depending on the situation. I’d definitely talk to your doctor as well, because since you’re recently back on testosterone, it can possibly have side effects with your other medications, so it’ll definitely be beneficial to have that conversation, to at least have peace of mind.
Regardless, you’ve got this. Remember, you’re not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help.
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Hey thanks for reaching out. I’m doing much better! I decided to see what my therapist said about the situation. I still get a little paranoid at night but I am able to just close the curtains on the window and rest easier. My therapist thinks next time my psychosis gets that bad that I should seek some form of professional help of course.
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thank you for reaching out! I’m doing much better and Next time i start feeling this way again I will definitely get help.
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