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In the last 3 months the lives of my grandmother, my cousin, my uncle and my best friend have all left this world. I feel a mass exodus and an anxiety of who will be next. It’s really lonely feeling
I’m sorry you’ve had so many losses. I hope that even though you feel lonely, you are not alone.
Oh friend. Thank you so much for sharing about all of this today and just breaking down some of these walls of isolation by reaching out. Your voice deserves to be heard while navigating the reality of these losses, and you certainly don’t have to be on your own, feeling it all. We may not be able to fix the pain or change how things are, but rest assured that you have friends right here willing to sit right next to you on this journey of yours. It must have been devastating to not lose one but four people who are dear to your heart. This is such an immense void to compose with in such a short amount of time. A truly unfair series of events that no one should ever have to go through.
It makes completely sense to have felt so much anxiety since then. Losing people we love is such a brutal call to reality. It puts in front of you the very reality of death and loss, and it’s really hard to see beyond it. It just becomes overwhelmingly present and seems to overshadow everything else. It instills fear. It’s freaking hard to feel as if some of our insouciance is giving way to more seriousness and fear.
When I lost people in my family and relational circles over a couple of years, there were times when I went into full panic mode just thinking about death and the permanence of it. I would anticipate phone calls as being potentially harmful, bringing bad news and things I would rather never hear about. It was consuming so much energy in me to feel constantly alert, as if I needed to be prepared for the worse, so I wouldn’t feel as much pain as I did the first times. It really is a hard experience to go through, and somehow it’s going to take time to see beyond it, to feel more confident again in your life and relationships. To just re-learn to embrace life knowing that grief is a part of it. That even though we grieve, mourn and hurt, this reality does not cancel life itself, and that it is okay to not be on our guard all the time.
This is going to be a slow process of re-building after feeling like such a huge part of your world has collapsed almost suddenly. It will take time, patience, and lots of love to yourself as you navigate through all of it. Make sure to be kind to your heart as much as possible. How you feel truly makes sense, and I promise you that you are not alone right now. I see you. I hear you. And I treasure the fact that you’ve opened up about these painful losses. You deserve to be and feel supported through all of it. To process at your own time, progressively, and one step at a time.
I’m sending hugs your way today. Take care of yourself, friend. You matter very much.
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@micro.mtn you’re all so kind. Thank you 
@strangexfire You are strong without a doubt and I completely get how work helps to remain focused when it feels like everything is collapsing around you. Work was also my go-to and a real crutch when I was feeling like there was this huge vulnerability waiting for me if I started slow down. It helps to feel in movement and invested in something. I hope you make sure to still have pauses and breaks to just breathe and connect with yourself, when you feel okay/safe enough to do it - and it’s okay if now is not the time. There are certainly a lot of emotions that you will need to feel, at your own pace and in your own time. It’s okay to feel this void, and it’s okay if there are times when it feels like keeping it all together is too hard. What matters is that you can have room to process, feel, and give yourself all the care you need as well. I’m rooting for you. <3 - Micro
@heartsupportwall I can’t thank you enough for these kind words. That’s exactly how I feel. Every time my phone rings, I am@overcome with fear and a dropping in my stomach. Trying to be strong and stay focused on work so I don’t crash. My loved ones wouldn’t want me to fall apart. But I feel the void and empty space they all should be in. To anyone else here suffering this, my door is always open to talk. Thank you guys for making amazing music and not being afraid to discuss the hard topics we all seem to suffer silently on. Thank you for caring about us 
Hi there!
Thank you for sharing your journey of loss and grief. Although what you are going through, can’t be pleasant, it’s a huge step to talk about this experience and be open about how the loss is making you feel. When loved ones pass away, it can seem like our whole world has been taken from under our feet. Our safety blanket has been removed and once again we are now vulnerable. For you, this has happened much more than it should have.
I can certainly understand why you might be unsure or uncertain about what comes next in terms of the future. However, my only advice is try to live in the moment. There is no point getting worked up about what’s to come as things change and situations change. If you want to have a positive impact on your own life, then that change Starts with you!
I hope you will find a way through this grief and loss. Your time to shine is yet to come! 