lost a close friend to suicide in September 2019 and have been numb to my feelings, others’ feelings and numb to death of close family members since
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There’s not enough words to emphasize the pain, that hole in our chest after losing someone we love. My heart goes out to you, friend. It’s such a heavy legacy but to hold the love of two while being one. The emotions that comes along are heavy, and it makes sense to feel numb in such circumstances. You’re in the eye of the storm and it’s hard to feel something different than being dragged around by life itself. I’m so sorry for your losses, friend. There is nothing more cruel and unfair but grief.
“You are not where you were, but you are everywhere that I am”, is a quote that I like to go back to when waves of grief are too overwhelming. The people we lost are not with us physically anymore, but they are still living through us, through our voice, in our heart. We are still able to share their voice with this world and let everyone know how amazing they were, how much our loved ones impacted our life in a beautiful way, and how lucky we’ve been to do life with them. Their heart is living through ours.
There will be a time when you will foresee obstacles and step out of this storm, friend. This hole will be filled by the love you have for your loved ones, and the love they gave to you. It will be full of the memories that you will learn to honor by taking care of your heart, as much as possible. I’m sending hugs your way. <3