I am turning 20 in 12 days, meaning I have six more years before my own life is uncertain
I’ve only ever had two part time jobs, and I’m not on a normal track to finishing my associates and bachelors because I’m not able to go to school full time. Heck I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to afford going for a bachelors
Basically, I have no idea what the next six years have for me and if I’ll have health insurance by then. It sounds like a lot, but it’s really not. I have no partner nor do I think I’ll ever have one, I have no idea where my desired career will be and what kind of job I’ll have, especially because I’m an arts major, and my medication and therapy are what’s keeping me afloat and not actively suicidal
Considering I end up with the WORST emotional withdrawal if I miss a single dose, I can’t imagine what it might be like losing it all long term. It might even happen sooner than this because even on my parents’ plans I still have a fair amount of copays and I just lost my source of income. I’m scared. I’m really really scared. I know how bad I can get and how badly Ive hurt myself and thought of ending it without the treatment I’m getting now
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Hey friend, I’m sorry you’re going through all of this right now. I get what it’s like to be uncertain about health insurance and whether or not you’re going to be able to take care of yourself health wise. I’m sorry that you’re scared, but remember that it is perfectly normal to be scared in any uncertain situation like this. While I haven’t experienced exactly what it is you may be going through, I do know how it feels to be stuck in a situation where you don’t particularly enjoy your job and you’re only in a job to take care of your health. For me personally, I have had to be realistic about the plans that I had for my future and figure out what it is going to be best for me and keep me afloat now. Because I don’t know all the specifics of your situation, I won’t give you any specific advice as to what the next steps in your life are, but I want you to try and shift your perspective away from the fear you are feeling and know that as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other towards whatever your goal is, things will be better than how you are allowing yourself to see them right now. Right now, the fear is paralyzing you and keeping you in place. Start thinking about the steps you need to take to put yourself in a position to take care of yourself, and even if you have to break them down into simpler parts just try to take one at a time and make sure you treat meeting each step as a success. You can’t do anything about the uncertainty of the future because it is uncertain by nature; but you can control what you do within the next hour, day, week, etc to get yourself to a place you want or need to be.
Know that this community is behind you know matter what you choose to do. You’re not alone here, you’re loved. Hold fast @LowerLeftCabinet
Edit: Friend, you have 6 years to figure a lot of this out! That is a LONG time, soooo much good can happen in that time, and you can do so much for yourself to make sure that you’re safe, healthy, and loved. This community believes in you, myself included. You got this!
I hate uncertainty. I also worry about if I can sustain myself because I haven’t had a regular job for some 15 months. It’s stressful thinking about if I can last the rest of the year.
I guess I keep myself going one day at a time for now and sending job applications every day. I’ve used several resources along the way to help me improve my job searching process.
I’m hoping for the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Hey so I just want to say, everyone is on a different path. By the end of school I was supposed to have finished my teaching certification. Three years later and I’m still working on it, and that’s okay! I had to take a break from working on it because my mental health was terrible. I had to learn to take things one day at a time and my path is different from everyone else’s. Society tells us that by a certain point in our life we’re supposed to have things a certain way but that’s a load of crap. Figure things out in your own time friend <3
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Thank you 
️ it just feels like time is flying and I haven’t done much yet, I’m still trying but moving forward has been hard when it seems like doing what I love and being able to live normally can’t coexist
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Totally get what you mean by that, and unfortunately in life we have to make difficult choices that pit us against what we want to do in life and what is necessary to take care of ourselves. It’s so hard, I have not figured this out at all yet and I don’t know if I will any time soon. All we can do is try to take care of ourselves first and then figure how what we want to do fits into our lives.
️ it just feels like time is flying and I haven’t done much yet, I’m still trying but moving forward has been hard when it seems like doing what I love and being able to live normally can’t coexist