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Intense emotions / feeling trap in the same town

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#1

I’m feeling trap in my boring unfulfilled life, cleaning toilets, swing floors and just waiting to go to work. Trap living with my parents, not having a girlfriend and bring in same state. I dream bring like my sister traveling to different states and being able to to airport by myself. It sucks my anxiety and my being autistic I can’t do things on my own , I have relay on my parents or family. I feel I can’t explode or self harm, cause I can’t take this intense emotions. I feel lame unfuckable whitr guy that trap in bleak meanless existence.

Im scare about having a new friendship with this person. She really cool skater and listen same taste of music. Also we go cool restaurants and she seem down to earth. However, she has a boyfriend and start having romantic feelings. But she been having issues with him and it seem kinda rocky. I would never want them break up, but part of me would think well if does not work out for them, that could work for me. In addition, I kinda feel shitty thinking this way. Also I’m ready stressing that she going abandon me as a friend and would stuck being by myself again. Then would relapse into self harm. Or kill myself .I hate having these thoughts

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#2

I don’t know if this is normal, but I can say I have thought the same thing. It’s brutal. I don’t know what the answer is. I think if you feel chemistry, then there is chemistry there. There are just circumstances standing in your way, but still, circumstances are real. I know I never took a shot with a girl after she broke up with her boyfriend. I won’t say it never works out, but I can say don’t hold out for it. It might work out, and that would be amazing, but if it doesn’t, you’ll go insane waiting for it and asking yourself if it’s right or wrong.

Yeah, that’s a real thing too. After so much time wanting something so badly, if it looks like it might happen, it’s scary. It starts feeling real, and when it’s not just a fantasy you have to start making choices about it. Is this too good to be true? Is this real? Could this make me happy, or will it disappoint me? With this girl, it’s easy choice to put up boundaries because she’s in a relationship, but if you meet another girl like her who’s single, it will be scary. It’s like jumping off the high dive.

#3

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey again, friend :hrtlegolove:

I know you feel like you are not fulfilled but you are contributing to life and you have a job. That is amazing! And if you want to find a different job I’m sure there are more things out there that you would be capable of doing and even excel at.

As for your friendship I think you should simply focus on the friendship and not live in the “what if” of potential romantic feelings. Tell her that you really like the friendship and you hope it continues lasting for a long time. It is always nice to be told that someone values your friendship. But if the friendship does end I believe that you will find other people who also enjoy spending their time with you. Clearly there are things about you that people like. I saw a t-shirt the other day that said “I’m not for everyone” and that is such a true statement. There are people that we get along with and people we don’t and that is always perfectly fine. Find the ones that you are for and embrace this friendship as one of them.

You matter and you are a good person :hrtlegolove:

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#4

From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I’m actually proud of you for holding down a job. I really am. I think it’s a great accomplishment. As far as needing help with some things because of your anxiety and autism, I think that’s where the DBT skill Radical Acceptance comes into play. These are things that you can’t change right now and accepting it might help you look at things differently. ~Mystrose

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#5

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Can I start by saying I think you do great holding down a job, the way the world is at the moment. You try your best every day and that is what matters and I love that you dream of things, we should all dream of a better future for ourselves, it gives us something to strive for. As for your new friend, its lovely to meet new people, I would say please look after you heart Metalskater, if your friend has a partner then it might be best to distance you feelings so that you dont get hurt. No one wants you to get hurt or depressed. All we want as you do is for you to be happy and fulfilled. Trust in that. You are worth it. Love Lisa x