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Intrusive thoughts and depression

Struggling to cope with recent intrusive thoughts. Thoughts include why was i even born. You accomplished nothing and other self loathing thoughts.

It has been really hard to shakevthem off as i overthink everything too

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Hey @Carolyn88,

Intrusive thoughts like these can be so hurtful. You contemplate your life and start to question all the things you have done, said, and all that you are… Nothing seems ever enough so what’s the point? What’s the point of even trying when nothing seems to matter, be impactful of have any sense? What a tough spot to be in. I’m grateful for you for inviting to be with you during such a rough time. You’re not alone, friend. And your struggles are not a stop sign either.

There’s a poem by W.Whitman that’s probably my favorite english one, and go like this:

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

There are times when we contemplate our life and nothing makes sense, really. Nothing seems to be worth it as we seem to always end up with the same thoughts, same limitations, same struggles and inner dialogue. But there is more to it. They can also be opportunities to reflect deeply within ourselves and learn to be more fair in regards to how we perceive ourselves, to who we are.

I can’t tell you why you are born. The meaning we inject in our life is highly personal and no one has the right to define it for you. However, I know that you are far from being nothing. Far from being insignificant. Far from being invisible and out of this world. What I believe also, is that during times of overthinking, it gets really hard to see ourselves without a filter made of self-deprecation, defeatism, pessimism.

I’m sure there are accomplishments in your life that you can actually acknowledge. Reaching out during a time of struggle like you just did here is already one! It may not feel as such for you, but I think it’s honestly pretty brave to allow yourself to be vulnerable while living in a world that tends to shame us for just having emotions.

I’d like to invite you to share a little more about the thoughts that you have, if you’d like to challenge them with us here. There is rarely one side to it, especially if it’s made of self-loathing. The very fact that you are here shows that you know it. Let’s try to challenge these thoughts, if you’d feel comfortable doing so.

You are loved. And you are so much more that what you think about yourself right now. I don’t have to know you to be sure of it. As a human being, it’s simply impossible to have done nothing and/or be nothing. There’s a rich, vivid inner life within you that deserves to be seen. You hold a story in your heart that deserves to be heard too.

Hold Fast. :hrtlegolove:

"Don’t break character
You’ve got a lot of heart
Rise up like the sun
Labor 'till the work is done"

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Hey @Carolyn88

These intrusive and self-loathing thoughts sound intense and hard recently. You are start to disvalue your life work and the impact you have on the people around you resolving to a point that nothing counts. But even you talking about this matters because we want to hear your voice no matter how small you may view it. I hear you directly and want to know why you were born even if you have to shout it from the rooftops that you were born to laugh, to sing, to dance, to be that one person that gets to see someone else just as incredible.

Overthinking hurts…cause you can’t shake it and get stuck in the wheel of spinning your thoughts. Find that one thing that anchors you when it happens that you can grab onto.

You are loved and cherished :black_heart:

Remember that these are ONLY thoughts, they are not reality. When this stuff happens, distract yourself with something and just be gentle with yourself.