My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year but I’ve known him most of my life. He’s had some addiction issues with alcohol in the past, and unfortunately did some prison time for it years ago. As his friend I supported him. I’d go to AA meetings with him, I visited him in prison and I know a part of me has always loved him since I was a little girl. Anyways, our friendship grew and became more after he was released. He’s been sober for almost two years now.
He’s a flirt. He always has been and I’m aware of this. It’s mostly innocent and it’s just who he is. He’s a Gemini if you believe in all of that we officially became a couple around six months ago, but have been exclusively sleeping together for about a year. He’s never really been in a serious committed relationship and he’s 32. I on the other hand was married for six years and had a family. I separated from my husband when I found out he was having an affair. I’ve always given my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. I’m patient with him because I know with his addiction and recovery, things can be tough. I watched my father suffer with the same disease and pass away from it at an early age.
This last Christmas he gave me a promise ring. This is something I honestly never expected him to do. He’s very closed off and rarely opens up. He doesn’t show affection in the traditional ways and I’ve grown to accept this and accept the little things he does for me to show affection. Recently I went through his phone. He was active on tinder and he had been texting a few random woman. Most of the conversations consisted of “do you have a boyfriend” and a little chit chatting back and fourth. He did ask one to send him a panty picture. Like I’ve previously stated, I’ve known this man for over 20 years. I know he has some kinks with what you’d call “sexy pictures” I’m not sure if it’s a attention thing of if it’s the pictures themselves. I’m not sure. I know he doesn’t seek out sex with other woman necessarily or meets with them because when he’s not at work, he’s with me the majority of the time.
He knows this type of stuff hurts me. He knows that it hurts my feelings because we have an amazing sex life, at least for me. Could it be that I’m just not enough? I know this is a conversation I should have with him, and I plan to but I’m just curious if anyone else has gone through anything similar. I love this man, and I want to make things work but I also know my worth. I know what I have to offer and I know that I should be treated better. Any insight or advice is appreciated.