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It feels like everything I've worked for this year might amount to nothing

Its been a while scene I’ve been around because I have been so busy with school. I’ve spent the last 7 months going through a really hard EMT course.The class started with 46 people and by the end only 18 of us graduated. It was really hard but extremely worth it! In this last month I’ve earned my national and state credentials to practice which had been really exiting. School has never been something that has come easy for me and this is one of the first things that I worked for and accomplished just for myself and not under the expectations or trying to gain the approval of others.

That being said I’ve come to kinda a stand still. Even though I have everything that approves me to practice right now I’m having difficulty getting my ambulance drives license due to medical reasons and I can’t apply for jobs until that goes through. Everything has been going smoothly up until this point.

You have to go through a medical and background check and once the examiner saw that I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder he put my paperwork aside and said that I has to get a letter from my primary doctor saying that I am ok to drive. So I got the letter and turned it in yesterday and am waiting to hear a call back to find out if I am approved or not because even with that letter he can still deny me. I read my primary doctors letter and she said that I’m good to drive and I can personally say that I am the healthiest mentally that I have ever been before.

I know its not the end of the world if this dosent go through its just I’ve had a lot of doors shut in my face in the last couple of years. I’m praying for the best and believe that at the end of the day this is all in Gods hands, that Hes good and that He knows whats best for my life. I’m really trying to find peace and comfort in that while at the same time having this be something that I’ve worked so hard and spent so much time and money to get through that idk it would be kinda heart braking if my paper work is denied.

No decisions have been made yet I’ve just been stressed about this whole ordeal. I live at home and my family dosnt believe in mental health so I’ve been going through all this with out really having a lot of people to talk about this and its been a heavy thing the keep all to myself. I’m hoping to find out with in the next 2 days and at this point any kind of answer would be better the waiting in limbo like I have for almost a month now.

I know this is really long so idk if anyone will actually read through this whole thing haha but ether way its been good to write it all out and get some of this weight off my chest.

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That sucks man you have to deal with that shit. Especially when you did everything in your power to do something right and have it blow like that. It get me upset where I see people that work their ass off and try to make something of them, but get sent over the littlest things. They should give you a chance man. I have dealing with same thing in my life, where I went to school and went to my jobs. Still got screw over by society. I also had deal with my own mental health issues too. But at least you got a educate and it actually very value train. Regardless you can still use your skills for life. Stay strong friend.

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