My mom told me tonight that she been sexually harassed by one guy that work for my union. That would go to my mother work place and grab her butt. But my mother never say to anyone, because he was tight with the union. Then she told another story that a guy from her old job threaten to beaten the shit out while she pregnant with her first child ( that was my older sister).
It get hard to hear these story, I feel powerless. I want this rat this fucking cunt out that assault my mother. But I could lose my job with benefits, and everything. It also remind how I was shitty to women and just feel disgust with myself.
I can see where it would. Some workplaces have a way of reporting anonymously. If these guys are still mistreating women, it would be best to encourage those women to do the reporting. If you do the reporting, there’s potential they would decide you’re doing it because you don’t like the guy(s).
It’s a very good thing that you’ve become sensitive to these issues, and more empathetic towards women. You’re not helpless, but not in a position to be as helpful as you’d want to be. Still, you can do a lot of good by setting an example, and if you actually do see something, report it. If you report something with exact details, such as date and time, they’re not likely to think you’re making it up.
I grew up in a chauvinistic culture, and around sexist and mysogenistic relatives, so I had to unlearn a lot of what felt like natural behaviors. Guys who objectify women and disrespect them will never experience the fullness of genuine love. Guys like that are pathetic.
It is understandable that what your mom told you creates such intense emotions. Not only is it infuriating whenever a woman is harassed, touched without their consent or assaulted, but it also takes another dimension when it happens to someone you love. Anger is a valid emotion in this kind of situation. It can also be a strength when it is used as a motor, something that help us take healthy steps and decisions, like the one that @Wings suggested with the anonymous report. The anger stems from a feeling of injustice, which can be repaired if and only if your mom is willing to report this person. It is her decision though. It doesn’t belong to anyone other than her.
I remember you sharing about your past behavior with women, and you were already very aware of it, blaming yourself and feeling guilty. It’s once again understandable that your mom’s story brings back this pile of grief and remorses. Don’t let it make you lose sight of the fact that what belongs to the past, belongs to the past. And you, among any other human being, are worthy of having second chances - which you’ve been working on already. You can see now how you are not that kind of person anymore, and that is something worth acknowledgement too.
