So it’s been a while since I have posted. The last post that I wrote on here was about finally seeking help. That however did not happen. My mum said that she would book a doctors appointment for me and get me the help I need, however all I got was false hope and and the usual feeling disappointment. I’ve decided that I am not worth helping, hell if my own mum once told me to lie about my self harm then that to me is a sign that she doesn’t care or is to ignorant to acknowledge that I need help. The amount of times I have opened up to her, to only be turned down is actually funny. I find it incredibly difficult to open up to anyone at all, and now I know not to ever do it again, it just ends how everything else does, me feeling like I’m worthless and waste of space. I now know that seeking help doesn’t work and I doubt that I will ever get the help I need. I wish I could get out of this, but clearly people don’t want to help. The reason why my mum probably didn’t get me help was because she forgot about me, why wouldn’t I be surprised. I’m just so done with everything. I just want to be that care free girl that I once was.
Hey Hayley,
I am sorry to hear that your mom dismissed your thoughts a feelings when you opened up to her. That takes so much strength to do and it is so incredibly hurtful when those we open up to dismiss us. Although she didn’t handle you reaching out for help in a healthy way, it doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you in the same way. You are most definitely worthy of help and anyone or anything that says differently just isn’t correct. Is there any way you would be able to set up the doctor’s appointment yourself so you could at least be seen? Or would your mom definitely have to be the one to do so?
Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes