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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Staind - It's Been A While
It’s been 6 years since the cheating, 5 years since we stopped talking and 4 years since she moved out. I still think about her from time to time and wonder where she is at. I don’t cry anymore but I still drink a lot cuz I like drinking but not for pain. I increased my tolerance cuz of that trauma and it really ruined my ability to have fun with alcohol at a normal pace. I don’t blame her because she has her own issues but still, possibly BPD. I still do miss her to this day. We had so much in common. This song always gets to me. I expected to be together forever. Much love. -Wolf
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Hi @HeartSupport_Fans,
Relationships aren’t going to be perfect, you will encounter some type of conflict when dating someone. It’s important to take care of yourself. I’m actually proud of you no longer crying but the drinking concerns me. It’s not a good coping method to deal after a breakup from many years ago. I’m not against of people drinking alcohol for social life. Just be careful and know your limits. Drinking alcohol can lead some negative health consequences. If you are struggling with alcoholism, I would recommend to talk with mental health counselor or join in a support group. It’s your choice to get help if you want to, no pressure. I support whatever decision that you will make in your life.
You described about trauma. Is there someone like a friend or family member that you can talk about trauma? It’s your choice. Sometimes talking your issues with someone will make you feel better. If you don’t have anyone to discuss trauma, you can speak with me about if you are comfortable. I used to struggle with trauma and it took me to heal for a long time.
I’m not sure who is cheating you or your ex-girlfriend. Cheating is the worse thing for a person to do with their loved one. If you are going to cheat, I always feel people should just break-up. It’s going to lead some bad terms between you and your partner. I hope your ex-girlfriend is feeling alright and receiving help from a mental health professional.
Music is universal and people can interpret it different ways. It does help us reflect our emotions. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You did the best you can do to keep the relationship together. The best thing is to learn on the mistakes that you did in relationship and improve it from there.