Its only getting worse

My mom and i just had a worse fight and now im hiding in the bathroom again
I dont really want to use grammar this time but i was stuck in my room with her not allowing me to leave because apparently ive ‘only eaten 200 calories’ today, when i definitely ate more than just that, especialy with the ice cream i ate basically to the bottom of the cup, but that still wasnt enough for her
And she kept blaming me when she was saying she was gonna have a panic attack and nervous breakdown and i kept telling her what to do and she didnt help calm me down when i started hyperventilating and i dont know what to do anymore

Ps: i fixed things with her i think! I think im about to get exactly what i need. Its not therapy (since i was too afraid to bring it up to her, and im starting to think that mightve been too much), but its a huge step in the right direction! (Aka practicing for a GED, online classes instead of homeschooling, etc.)

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Im starting to think therapy would be best for both of us but i dont know how to bring it up to her without her freaking out
(Ignore this reply i forgot it wasnt apart of the actual post. :') )

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Hey @tart

It’s great to see you! It sounds like things got rough with your mom. I’m glad you found a safe space and even better that there might be positive changes coming! Focus on those online classes and GED practice, that’s a big step. If you can, try talking to your mom calmly when things are okay about how the fight made you both feel. There are resources to help if you need them, and you’re not alone.

Hold fast <3

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Hey Tart
I am so sorry you and your Mum are having your struggles. It can be so hard to navigate relationships with our parents as we get older and during strugges especially if you had wobbles to begin with.
I honestly think that afte r all that you have been through, bringing up therapy can only be a positive thing and I think it would be a wonderful idea for you both to wok on it. I truly hope that you get that opportunity and wish you well. I would love nothing more than to see they relationship between you and you mum flourish. Much Love Lisa. x

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Hi tart,

I’m sorry to hear about the fights that you have been having with your mom. The methods being used to get you to eat more are not the healthiest or most productive. When you needed support and calming down, it should have been provided for you as well, just like how you try to provide for your mom. So, I can see how this all could be taxing for you.

I’m glad to hear that there has been a potential resolution, and I hope that you do get exactly what it is that you need as well. I’m glad that things are taking steps forward in the right direction. I’m so glad to hear about the steps that you are making for yourself and I hope they work out and that things continue to look up and improve. :white_heart:

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Hey @tart, I’m sorry you’ve had this stressful interaction. It sounds like your mom’s stress and worry was being passed to you - even if not voluntarily. It’s surely difficult to your parent struggling and/or having expectations of you that don’t seem fair or appropriate.

It’s great to hear that somehow you have managed to discuss and set things right after what happened. Also that there could be some relief on the school side with the GED and online classes! I imagine that this might be an exciting perspective for you, and hope that it will match your expectations as you go!

On the topic of therapy for your mom and you, I would imagine that it’s worth discussing it with her and see what would be her thoughts. She may not be open to it and completely deny the need for it, although it’s never wrong to ask and share your point of view on that matter. If you feel like it could be an interesting option to explore, then it’s certainly worth trying! If anything, I thinking bringing it down to her would require a couple of simple elements:

  • Choosing a time when she is really available - not while doing something else or between two tasks/ Make sure she has time to dedicate to you and this conversation when you would have it.
  • Eventually prepare what you’d like to say in advance so it could help you!
  • Keep in mind to hear her out and give space to her response. It is possible that she could feel surprised or completely opposed to this idea. Eventually, offer her to take time to think about it before saying no, and to get back to this conversation at a different day.
  • Make sure to explain what brought you to this thought/suggestion, in a calm and respectful manner. Explain facts without any judgment (what happened objectively), then the way it makes you feel personally (instead of “it is stressful”, it’s always better to words things like "It made me feel stressed, for example). It’s just subtle language elements that can help to facilitate the conversation. <3