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Belongs to: Therapist Fades to Black | Metallica
It’s strange. This album, song, came out after a friend took his life. I saw them live, shortly after. I don’t know if it’s me or them, this version doesn’t seem as angry. To this day, 30 years later, I’m still angry. I love my friend, I miss my friend, but fuck you for quitting.
I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. How you feel, your anger intertwined with the love you have for your friend, is absolutely valid. Losing someone you love to suicide leaves this taste of feeling abandoned, left behind, without the opportunity to understand why. Without the possibility to feel like you had a say on it. It’s hard to be forced to keep ongoing in life without someone you care about. It’s just not how it should have been, and far from what you could have expected at the time. Losing someone you love to suicide is brutal, traumatic, and it’s understandable to still feel the effects of it to this date. Your life is forced to take a drastic turn once death hits like this… there is a before and an after. But sometimes the “after” can feel like being stuck in the same place and with the same feelings over and over. At the very moment we realize and feel with our entire being, for the very first time, that the person we care about isn’t here anymore. It forces you to reinvent yourself while you never asked for it. Your heart longed for things to be the way it was with them, and to have the possibility again to be there for them.
There is no doubt that you’ve been doing as you can after losing your friend. It’s a hard journey to walk through. Thankful you’ve decided to share about it here. 