Ive-been-struggling-with-the-feeling-of-never-belo - 2577

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I’ve been struggling with the feeling of never belonging somewhere for so long now. I was living with my dad for almost all my life when he passed when I was a 16. I was living alone with him and I found him, then 2 grandparents died the same year. Had to go live away with the family I still had but never had any real bond with them, they all kind of feel like strangers to me even still. So I fled my country to go live in the one next to it and tried my luck there. I stayed 9 years because I felt like I could never come back without having something to offer. Some big lesson I could bring back, some talents or just the thing that would make it worth it to come back. Then Covid hit and one of the last person that really cared about me, my grandma, died in 2021 and couldn’t go. I hated myself for not going back there before, waiting still for something to offer.
I got back in 2022, damn was that hard but it happened, I came back in my own country. I still ask myself everyday if I’m good enough, if I’ll ever feel at home somewhere and with someone but I try to not let fear rule my life, at least not everyday.

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Hey there.

If it helps in any way, I also struggle to feel like I belong somewhere on this Earth.

Although not to the extremes of your experience, I also lost a family member (my grandpa on my mother’s side to Covid.) Even if I wasn’t close to him, it did affect my grandma a lot, and I was there to help comfort her. We all moved on, but she does occasionally visit his grave…

And with the rest of my family? I guess you could say it’s something similar. I do feel very deattached from them, albeit for a different reason…

I can understand what you’re going through. Doubting your own worth and choices, even if painful, are normal to experience. But for now, all I can say is hang in there. Just don’t be hard on yourself, and take the time you need to process and choose what you want to do next. I know it might not be much, but even the smallest of encouragement is important.

Good luck, and stay safe out there.:orange_heart:

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@heartsupport Hi Cora. Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to say something encouraging. I hope you’ll get over those struggles too, take care.

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