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I've been waiting too long


#1

I keep waiting for someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay.
For someone to see my scars, to find the razor blade and tell me that I don’t need them.
I’m waiting for someone to see my pain.
To see how much I hate myself.
I don’t want them to know, but I do because I don’t think it’ll get better without them.
And I’m waiting
and waiting
.
And then i realized that everyone I love knows
they just dont care. They dont care enough to want to fix me.
to want to talk to me.
so now that the monsters are back,
I think I’ll let them win.


#2

My dear friend.
I may be a world away in reality. But I see your pain. I hear your tears. And I touch my teary face and realised, I CARE.

It matters to me. You matter. And it hurts me just as much to hear that you believe you need fixing. You don’t. You only need to see yourself clearly. And fall in love with the person you see in the mirror.

Please can you try that? Just go to the mirror. Look deeply into the eyes of the person you see there. And detach. Believe that it’s not you. It’s someone else. And see what’s beautiful and amazing about that person. First you will see the eyes. The Color. The lashes. The depth. The steady gaze. The shape. It’s all unique. The smile. The tilt of the head. The chin. The look and expression. It’s all unique.
Go ahead and tell that person in the mirror how fab they are. When you see someone who is sad, you would naturally be kind and nice, won’t you? Then do the same to who you see in the mirror. Everyday. Every time.
When you look into the mirror, let the whole world fade away. Forget everything and everyone else and give this person a generous and loving compliment. Look into the eyes with all the love you have been unable to give anyone until now.

Fall in love. With the person you see in the mirror. Do it without fail as often as you can, in all sincerity and dedication for a month. No breaks or excuses. If necessary, pretend that this is a play and you are playing a role.

End of the month miracles will happen. I promise.

And any time you feel so, reach out. I’m gonna be there to hear you out. Always.


#3

Hi friend,
I was in the same spot as you a few years ago. I was cutting all the time and I hid it but I so badly wanted someone to figure it out and do something but they didnt until i asked for help myself. I know you are probably feeling really hopeless but I promise you it DOES GET BETTER. Sometimes it takes waking up one day and stop waiting for other people to save you and decide that today is the day you’ll help yourself and ask for help. Much love,
Holly