I’m so sorry for you loss. I hope you feeling okay. I just lost my loved one this year. I totally understand how you feel. It’s okay if take day or months or a year to grief. You have the right to cry when you lose someone that you loved.
In heaven, your dad will always will be proud of what you accomplish in life. He doesn’t want you to ever feel sad or be in a dark place. I’m here to support you if you need help! I hope some day you found peace with your father.
I lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago. I thought I’d collapse from the weight of it. I’m so sorry. You won’t ever FULLY recover, but the pain will ease little by little. Music has been helping me immensely. So has therapy.
I don’t know what your views are about life after death. I don’t know what my OWN views are. I finally figured that I’m his legacy… Even if only on a cellular level, he’s with me - in genes, DNA & even personality traits.
I hope that you’re hanging in. And just know that you’re not alone in that pain.
Oh friend, I’m sorry you lost your dad. He must have been such a pillar into your life, and there is no doubt that being forced to compose with his absence must feel purely unbearable. It feels so unfair to share life with someone, to love them and care for them so very deeply, then to reach a point of having to keep going without them by your side. Even though death is a part of life, knowing it doesn’t make it less hurtful once it hits us personally. There is something deeply shocking and confusing when it comes to feeling the void that one has left after being gone.
I personally don’t know if we can fully recover from it. To me, grief keeps hitting in waves - something unexpected, sometimes felt before it even takes over. Sometimes it hurts as if it was the very first time, sometimes it hurts as if it was the thousandth time. Time helps - even though it doesn’t heal. The wound remains, but what we do learn is how to compose and live with it. How to give it room so it doesn’t go unnoticed, but also doesn’t prevent us from fully living our present life. There are times now when I am still stuck in the past, with the people I had to leave there, but there are also times when I manage to invite them into my present life and embrace what is. It still feels unfair, but not everything feels like a curse, or as if life itself was an undeserved gift that I had to deal with.
Grief is so hard to exist with, although there is ultimately no right or wrong way to mourn the ones we miss with all our heart. If you need to cry, my friend, it’s okay to let the tears be. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to share stories about your dad and good memories you have of him, please feel welcomed to do so. If you feel angry, that’s a completely valid emotion too. If you need to seek more regular help/support to talk about it, to talk about how you feel, then there is no shame in doing that either.
The love you have for your dad is very strong, very real, very present. Not even death will ever take that away from you or him. There is - and will always be - a special bond that unites you.