Job of one month is causing extreme stress

[Need_help2705]

Hi guys,

I am drowning in my new job, so far its been too hectic, very high pressure environment.
I feel very overcome its only been a month but i feel like i cant deal with the workload. The management team hasnt allocated the work fairly, most of management speaks about their personal problems for long periods of time, and they are two faced. They act nice to your face but gossip behind your back. I am trying my best but there is no work life balance and im unsure what to do, i dont have a passion to do anything anymore. I dont know my purpose or what work im meant to do, how to make myself happy whether to quit and start over. I genuinely have no idea and i feel helpless and miserable.

[Micro]

Hey @Need_help2705,

First off - congratulations for your new job! I imagine that reaching that having this new position might have followed a challenging (and stressful) season of job searching. It’s a great accomplishment to have braved the interviews and processes that lead to a new job, and hopefully you can be proud of your efforts there!

I’m sorry that this new job has actually revealed some unpleasant surprises too. It’s so frustrating and defeating somehow when you have something positive that happens in your life only to be forced to ask yourself if it is a poisoned gift or not. When you start to actually work in this new place, you are also confronted to the daily reality and management there, of how it feels to work there and what is the type of environment you’re in. Between what you describe of the management in general and the blurred lines between work and personal space, it makes so much sense to feel lost somehow and overwhelmed. It’s the kind of situation that can make you wonder if you made the right decision, if this place is one you’d see yourself staying in or not. But at the same time, how scary and frustrating these questions can be. It feels like it ruins your momentum and the beauty of finding a new job. It’s almost tainting something that should be positive into an experience that brings more doubt, fears and insecurity to your soul.

For what it’s worth, especially because this is a new job, I think it’s absolutely normal and okay to not have all the answers right now. Somehow, by being confronted to this work environment, you are also shocked and start to see how what is offered may not align with your expectations. It’s something brutal to digest, and identifying your next steps from these observations may take a bit of time for you to become more clear.

In a general manner, I would think that:
(1) it’s essential to leave yourself as much room as you need to feel whatever comes. Could it be disappointment, anger, frustration, sadness, fear - it’s all okay and valid especially in these circumstances.
(2) at some point, when you feel okay for it, it might be interesting to ask yourself if you feel ready or not to invest yourself in this place, and how. If the environment set is an issue, then it means the culture of this workplace may need to change/evolve over time, and depending on your job position AND your own bandwidth, you may lean towards one of two options:
→ on one hand, deciding to stay while trying to change/improve the work environment through your feedback, contributions, etc. This depends on objective criteria (is this place valuing collaboration? do you have a role that would allow you to make that kind of difference or not) and a personal/emotional appreciation: do you have enough energy/willingness to do that? do you feel like it’s worth it?
→ on the other hand, getting to the conclusion that the workplace can’t be changed/isn’t worth it, and that the healthiest move would be to find another job to a place that would align much better with your values and ethics. On a financial side, having this job would allow you to make this transition smoother and safer.

These are big questions, and right now though it’s okay if they are too intimidating to be thought of. Sometimes our first impressions also change over time as we learn to get to know our co-workers differently. All in all, there is something positive in potentially identifying what is NOT what you want in a job. It reduces the scope and refine what you know about yourself/your needs/your aspirations work-wise - even if it’s by saying “I don’t want this” rather than “I want that”.

Give yourself as much time as you need to explore these emotions and questions. You will find your answers in due time, little by little.

[Shan]

Hi Need_help2705,

I’m sorry tp hear what you have been going through with this new job. A new job should cause positive feelings, so it is unfortunate that this is not the case for you so far. It appears that you are at a crossroads and it is always difficult to try and figure out which path we should take so I understand your confusion and how it can be stress inducing for you.

Based on what you have shared, it does sound like the workplace has a toxic environment. So first, you have to reflect on if you think you can continue to work in such an environment long-term or if you think it would be too much to handle (eat away at your peace/joy). We spend a lot of time at the workplace, so feeling comfortable in our work environment is very important.

Also, do you think you’d be able to endure the process of another job search and securing a different job? There is a lot of questions that goes into making the decision to stay or to leave and it will take deep reflection on the pros and cons and what you think will ultimately be the best decision for yourself and your wellbeing. This takes time, and as Micro mentioned, you definitely don’t have to have all the answers for that right now. You also don’t need to have the answers regarding knowing your purpose and what you feel you are meant to do. I truly believe that someone’s purpose is something that we find, and when we find it that’s when we know it. It creates a noticeable feeling within us that feels right. And the only way to do this, I believe is through trial and error, trying different things, and exploring. I know society makes it seem as though we should have all the answers by like age 18, but that is truly unrealistic. It is okay to not know yet, and to take your time figuring it out.

I wish you the best in making your decision. And regardless of what happens, you should be proud of yourself for everything you have done this far! You accomplished something, and you are learning more about yourself through the process. Good luck!