Just an update

[Sapphire]

Hi everybody,

It’s been a good while since I spent a meaningful amount of time here so I figured I would drop in and update everyone on how I’ve been and what’s been happening.

First and foremost, I’m definitely pregnant. I’m going into my 11th week. Starting from week 6 I started getting some pretty bad morning sickness. As someone who finds very little to be worse than nausea and vomiting, suffice it to say it’s been pretty rough for me. My doctors gave me some anti nausea meds but they don’t help. Also the nurses I’ve spoken to don’t want me to go to clinics/medical facilities outside of my appointments for fear of Covid, so I’ve had some rough patches with dehydration that I’ve just had to push through. My OB estimates I have another 2 to 4 weeks before the morning sickness subsides, assuming of course that I’m not one of the lucky ones that’s sick all the way through. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen.

I’ve had very little energy. I’m so thankful that I work from home because I’ve been working from my couch for several weeks now, taking naps during my lunch break.

My husband has been great, he’s been doing everything since I’ve started feeling ill. I wish I could do more but I dont want to push myself too hard. My pregnancy is considered high risk so as much as I don’t want to, I think I need to refrain from doing all the things.

I still am not speaking with my mother. Pretty sure she doesn’t even know I’m pregnant. Her loss though. I’m sure if I had to deal with her right now I’d be under a lot more stress.

I have heard from my brother since the last time I posted and… yea… I have no idea what is going on with him but I suspect some serious mental stuff that I don’t want to get involved with. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against helping people, but there comes a point where A) I don’t have to qualifications to help you and B) I’ve been so physically and mentally exhausted with the pregnancy that it’s hard to be concerned about everyone else.

I recently was told that my performance at work has been amazing, I’ve almost doubled my output in the last 6 months and I’m way ahead of schedule than my higher ups expected me to be at this point.

I think overall, for the most part I’ve managed to keep my life fairly stress free lately. Been focusing on me and trying to stay hydrated for the baby’s sake. I might come around more again but it all depends on my energy levels as they’ve been super low lately.

I hope everyone is hanging in there and trying to do their best every day.

[Micro]

Dear @Sapphire,

It’s good to see you! Thank you so much for taking the time to shar these updates here.

First off: congrats for the pregnancy! I can only imagine how processing this and just learning to adapt to the physical aspects of it has been for you. Between the morning sickness, the personal rhythm to adapt with your work, the reality of covid and how it impacts our past definition of “normality”. It’s objectively a lot to handle at the same time, and I hope you take care of yourself as much as possible. It sounds that your husband is really a pillar of support, which is awesome too! Although I get the need to do more than you should. But it’s okay to rely on him right now as much as needed too. You work as a team.

As for your family, it seems that you are learning to be more at peace with the things you can’t control. By acknowledging what is someone else’s responsibility instead of yours, you allow yourself to be your own priority, which is not selfish at all, but actually very thoughtful. I hpoe that, in the future, the situation will improve both for your mom and brother, whether you are still in touch with them or not. But, there’s a time for everything anyway. And now is not the time to focus on these, unless it would be about expressing how you feel about it.

I’m grateful that your life has been stress free lately. You deserve peace. And you’ve been working hard for it.

Please don’t worry about being around here or not. Take care of yourself, first and foremost. In this community we all have our times of being more or less present, just because life happens, and that’s okay. You have a place right here, and it’s always a pleasure to you.

Take care, friend.