Just feeling lost and don't know what to do

For the past few weeks i have been feeling very depressed and dont know what to do
A few of my closest friends got in a accident and passed away and also my parents have always been focused on my studies and i should maintain my rank
now days i feel very lonely as if i am alone in this world i tried to make some new friends hoping i would get over it the things just keep haunting me
And my parents throughout this have been don’t spend too much time at your friends funeral and stuff you have your semester exams due next week.
can anyone suggest me just what to do

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi 25thbaam. Welcome to Heartsupport. You should take all the time to grief and process what happened. Exams are important but your friends death is something that is very impactful and you should take all the time you need to deal with that. Your parents should be more understanding of that fact. I hope you will take all the time you need :slightly_smiling_face:

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From: Ash

I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. First off the loss of a friend is so tough. I have personally lost friends but not in that means. Just remember that you are there to care about that person to show them that you supported them and still do. They arent gone nor forgotten. It may be a tough spot to feel so alone but your friend may be gone but they are still with you. I like to think of it like the marks they leave on you almost like a tattoo. So it stays in place and you cant wash it away nor can you stop it from being there. This friend had an impact on your life. As for the treatement from your parents over that and you needing to study that puts a lot of pressure on you to feel as if you have to rush feeling okay over this loss and that is tough. Have you shared to your parents how much this friend meant to you. How much you now feel alone because of their loss. Grades arent everything.

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From: Rohini_868

Hi there 25thbaam,
Just wanted to do a check in, see how you’re holding up.

i’m so sorry for your loss, I hope that you are able to meet with a counselor or a grief counselor if you need to help you process your grief. We’re here if you’d like to tell us more about them, what they were like. Whatever you need to help you through this rough time, we’re here to help you as best as we can! You matter, and you are valuable. Whether or not you get the marks you’re used to or not, nothing changes the fact that You Matter.

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From: Taladien

Hey 2thbaam,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. It is not fair to lose those whom are close to you, especially during stressful times. And I am also sorry to hear that your family is not supporting you, or allowing you the environment you need to grieve. I am sure that your parents are trying to be supportive and act out of love towards you, but it may not feel that way.

Have you opened up to your parents about how hurt you are from losing your friends? Really let them know how deeply you hurt? If you aren’t comfortable opening up more to them, do you have other friends you can talk to? A school counselor? It may help the grieving process to open up to others you trust about this, like you are doing here. In any case, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, and for your loss. You are loved, friend, and please take the time needed for yourself in this hard time :hrtleglove:

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Hello there,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. One of the current things I like to recall when I lose someone that I care about is an interview that Andrew Garfield did recently about grieving the loss of his mother.

“I love talking about her, by the way, so if I cry, it’s only a beautiful thing,” Garfield explained. “This is all the unexpressed love, the grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter if someone lives till 60, 15, or 99.”

“So I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that I didn’t get to tell her,” he added. “And I told her every day. We all told her every day. She was the best of us.”

You are allowed to grieve in your own way. There will be days when you will smile when you remember your friends. There will be days when you will cry when you remember them. No one grieves in the same way as the next person. Be kind to yourself at this moment. Give yourself time. I believe in you.

You are amazing. You are lovely. You are valid. You are enough. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: twixremix

hey 25thbaam,

welcome to the forum, my friend. thank you for your vulnerability on how your mental health is doing, allowing your new heartsupport community in on such a difficult time in your life. it’s understandable from everything you’ve gone through that you are feeling depressed. i’m so, so sorry you lost your friends in that tragic accident. that pain, loss, and grief is like no other and my biggest hope for you is that you can find time to care for yourself in any way necessary. please keep your heartsupport community posted if you need anything at all as you grieve, we’re here for you always.

it breaks my heart even more to know how your parents are reacting to your loss. you do what you have to to maintain your own mental health… because how can anyone maintain their rank if they face burnout, are facing distress and grief, and feeling depressed? my suggestion is to tell them what i shared in that previous sentence if you believe it to also be true. i’m not sure how much your parents are involved in your studies but there needs to be a little more support and understanding from them. i bet their reaction, or lack thereof, only adds more heartbreak but please know you are loved, valued, and supported on this forum. we are here for you always to raise you up to new heights and reassure you that your mental health is just as important as your rank.

take care of you, my friend, for you are the priority. you’ll be in my heart and thoughts.

love,
twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Welcome to the HeartSupport community, 25thbaam! I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. That is a horrible thing to experience. I cannot imagine losing several friends in one accident.

It’s been a few days. Your exams are this week? Do you feel able to focus on them? I know that a lot of schools and teachers will take loss into account in order to give extensions on exams and final essays and whatnot so that you can deal with your grief. I know the idea of having that conversation with multiple teachers can be difficult but if you feel it would help you then it is always okay to ask for that help and that understanding from others. If you don’t feel like you are able to verbally talk about it you could write a letter or email and give it to each one. Get the words right that way.

I lost my grandfather right before my finals week many years ago. Luckily for me they were all projects except one class so I was able to finish them around my grief but I knew the option was there to inform my professors of my loss to receive extensions on the projects if I needed to and that helped me get through them.

I encourage you to find some way to pay tribute to your friends this summer. Plant a tree with a plaque with their names or something that can help you mourn and honour their memories. And also if these thoughts and memories keep haunting you I want to encourage you to go to grief counseling over the summer. Talk to someone who you can share all of your thoughts and feelings and grief with who can help you find peace and solace. One of my favourite lines about grief is frome WandaVision: “What is grief if not love persevering”. Your grief is valid and is a testament to how much your friends meant to you.

Good luck, new friend, and I hope you share with us again anytime :hrtlegolove:

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Update
I talk to my parents about how important and close my friends were they just told me one should accept the loss and try to move on with your life
My college professors have been very helpful about it they even offered to extend the dates for some submissions and assignments
I also got an appointment with our college’s personal counselor who has been helping me to get over it he also suggested I should try to make new friends from the start
He even suggested i should take break from studying and focus on hobbies and some activities
I also joined a new library and gym as such to meet new people
thank you everyone for your messages

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It’s wonderful that despite your grief, you’ve made all the right decisions. I was going to suggest talking to your professors, but then I saw what you’ve written. It’s a great point about taking a break. It actually makes learning easier when the subject matter is approached with a refreshed mind.

Wishing you the best, Wings