I was cutting again, and it got very bad. I was cutting so much every time to the point of me being covered in blood wherever I put the razor. I started getting sick and tired of hiding it and lying to my dad whenever he asked if I was cutting again, so I texted my mom and told her that I was cutting and I was really sorry. And my dad took me to the hospital and made me do in-patient. I was crying in this empty room for hours on end because I didn’t want to do in-patient. So I was in the mental hospital for 3 days and there was so much going on and I just wanted to come home and talk to my boyfriend and now apparently they think my boyfriend has something to do with the cutting but it has absolutely nothing to do with him. And they’re thinking about not letting me talk to him anymore, and if they do that I’m going to flip out and it’s going to make things so much worse.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m really glad to read some updates from you.
What you’ve been through was intense - emotionally, physically. Take the time you need to digest these events. It can be pretty wild and draining to go in a mental hospital, especially as an emergency. I’m really, really proud of you for talking to your mom and dad about this. I can only imagine the intensity of how you were feeling at the moment, and still now, but you really had a good reaction by reaching out to people who could be physically there for you.
How is it going since you got out of the hospital? Were you seeing a therapist before/will you see one?
I also hear the stress and misunderstanding about your boyfriend. If he truly has nothing to do with it, then it’s certainly a misplaced reaction from your parents. Regarding this, you and them could benefit of having a calm and honest conversation. They might need you to help them understand that your boyfriend is actually part of your support system, and not the opposite. On their end, they’ll need to be able to express their worries in a healthy way, with you. There is something that you and your parents both want: healing. Once you all do what’s needed to talk about it, to be vulnerable (even if it’s uncomfortable), you can help each other to acknowledge this common willingness for you to walk on your own recovery path, also to agree together on what could be your next step.
From: j71s8 (Discord)
You matter so much! You are so important and you are so valuable! You are so loved! Thank you so much for sharing what has gone on in your life, it is so meaningful that you share what is going on with us! I am so sorry to hear you have such a difficult experience going on. Inpatient can be a multitude of experiences depending on when you go. It can be a different experience each time, but going to get help dosent always mean inpatient. Do you have a therapist or counselor to talk to? They may be able to help you through a lot of this without going for inpatient, they can also mediate a discussion between your mom and yourself. Know that you are loved!
From: OoZS (Discord)
Thank you for posting. Know you are loved and cared for. I’m very sorry to hear about the self harm. I think trying to find the root cause of why you wish to self harm would be a good stepping stone. I personally know it can be hard to do but you aren’t alone. As to why they think your boyfriend is the cause of your self harm, why is that? Like you said it has nothing to do with him and i’m sure he is supportive of you. I would suggest looking up some grounding techniques. Search for these: 5 4 3 2 1 grounding and STOPP skill. You will get through this i’m sure. Stay strong and know you aren’t alone.#
i fucking hate mental hospitals i got sent their like 3 weeks ago it’s sucks i know how you feel