My brain is messed up. I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember and I’m getting sick of it. Why do I have to have this. What did I do to deserve it?
Whenever I think of talking to someone I freak out and get worried that I’ll say something stupid or that they just won’t like me. Then I get mad at myself for not talking to anyone which leads to tears, depression, and loneliness. I’m sick of not being able to feel in control of my brain. I wish someone else could come up and talk to me instead of me feeling like I have to be the one to make the first move.
thank you for sharing your experience with social anxiety, something everyone faces but people barely speak out about.
social anxiety is a beast that is difficult to conquer. and i say this confidently because i, too, suffer from social anxiety but have found ways to manage that stress. i believe slowly and gradually growing those social skills are one of the many ways that you can rise above this. starting small in your actions will help you smoothly work up to getting more confident in these situations. small steps include practicing basic small talk w/ strangers (how are you, doing well how about yourself, etc., how’s the weather), small acts of kindness (opening the door for someone, smiling at a passerby, etc.), and even talking more with people you already know to practice conversing and interacting. a method that has helped me over the years is taking a moment to think through the next sentence i want to say makes a huge difference in how i feel walking away from that interaction.
social anxiety is hard, it’s draining, and it’s a challenge that more people than you can imagine face. so you are not alone. and while you don’t deserve these feelings, i do know that you can overcome it through the methods you’re most comfortable with in practicing. i believe in you, lov1!
Hi there lov1! Oh man this post hits me right in the feels as someone who anxiety for life too. I’m pretty awkward of a person IRL so I’ve had to develop some skills working in office settings, etc to help get through the social stuff. Something I have found helpful is practicing physical awareness. By this I mean being aware of how your facial expressions, vocal tones, and physical stance can make you seem more or less approachable. This takes practice but it is totally worth it. For example if you are like me and have a resting mean face then you can practice having a bit more of a resting smile and keeping good posture. Also making sure to engage on the daily, for example - “good morning” every day. What I’ve found is that you do have to put in more work but it will get easier with time. I believe in you and I hope these tips help give something to try out.
Hiya @lov1
Reading your post is like reading my own mind. Social Anxiety is mixed bag of so many emotions and none of them are a pleasure, however first and foremost you have never done anything to deserve these feelings.
As Twix has said its all about practice, putting yourself in to very small situations and trying to always think about what you are going to say, trying to keep it short so you dont feel like you will stumble over your words. It is exhausting and it does make you want to not bother but its a great feeling if you do bother and everything falls into place.
I know its hard but I wish you all the very very best.
Stay Strong and Keep at it. I know you can do it.
Lisa
