fuck you for making me go through this, for making promises, for breaking everything - your promises, my heart and trust.
fuck you for stabbing me in the back, for giving me the very issues i tried to help you with.
fuck you for letting me trust you, letting me see past the red flags, for not giving me one more reason to break it off sooner.
fuck you for going back on your word, for making me repeat conversations, for excusing your abuse as someone else.
fuck you for promising me the world and ripping it right out of my hands.
fuck you for not telling me everything you’ve done to yourself.
fuck you for the panic attacks
for the triggers
for the breakdowns
fuck you for restless nights
for being my first
fuck you for loving me.
fuck you for abusing me.
fuck you for assaulting me.
fuck you.
I feel like I’m dealing with stuff that’s a lot to process, and have been in denial about everything. Last night was the first time I was mad about everything I felt happened to me, which I guess is probably a part of the acceptance process.