I’m really sorry- I know I come in and out of the HS community, and am, most of the time, inconsistent with discord and posting/responding here. It’s kind of a long story and I’m probably going to hash out some of the details in a later post but for now… I just have to be really honest about one thing. I’ve never felt so lonely before in my life, and I don’t know who to reach out to for help, because with this, it feels like no one understands or they delegitimize my relationship. I’ve been spending the last few nights crying in my bed missing my girlfriend. I felt the need to end with her things… again, and it’s just dawning on me what happened, and how much I miss her, how much it must have crushed her at the time. I have no idea how she feels now, and I’m absolutely broken about how things ended and how terrible I’d been to her (she was already worried because I’d been in the hospital, and then boom, I just dropped the bomb on her like some sick freak). I know the category for this topic is “I feel” it’s all my fault, but it really is. I know that many people have struggled with a broken heart, but I just don’t know what to do anymore. It feels so incredibly gut wrenching and my heart hurts so much, especially because of the way I’ve hurt her time and time again. I don’t know what I can do to make anything better, and I just want to know if she’s okay. I know there isn’t a lot of context to work with but… I just don’t know what to do anymore. Prayer seems to have no effect and God seems so silent.
Hi Alex,
Thanks for reaching out on here. Heartbreak is never an easy thing. it hurts like hell.
We don’t always get over our relationships quick and easy. Most times, it is the quite opposite. But the best i can tell you, is to focus on whats going on that’s positive in your life right now. That doesn’t mean to completely ignore the negative, but find healthy and positive ways you can cope with that and eventually heal. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted pastor, counselor, teacher, etc.
As far as prayer seeming to have no effect, just know it does. God is closest to us in our sufferings. Sometimes we don’t always “feel” him. But God is not a feeling. He is with you and is holding you close. He knows and hears you. Nothing you go through or feel is ever insignificant to Him. The things that matter to you, matter to Him too. You can trust that He will help you and bring about beauty and goodness out of your suffering.
hope this helps.
hold fast and im praying for you friend
It is good you’re taking responsibility. (Also don’t feel bad about not being active in the community. Sometimes I’m not active here for a week or a few days. As for discord I look & read but I’m pretty sure I never posted.) Now I’m going to suggest something that most likely you don’t want to hear. You need to concentrate on yourself. Get yourself together. Why? Most likely the problems you have that got between you and her, you haven’t dealt with. You need to deal with them. Once you can manage these problems then maybe you can try to “ship” with her again. Otherwise, those problems will just get in the way of your relationship.
(And if you can’t stand not knowing what is up with her. Maybe a friend can find out for you until you get your shit together.)
Maybe your God has already given his answer or he has already given you the solution. IDK.
Yep, love hurts. There are plenty of songs written about heartache, it is so universal that songs were written in every language, and new ones are still being written, will be written.
The pain you feel is equal to the love you felt in the relationship, and there is nothing to do but suffer through it and do the things you have to do to the best of your current ability. If you want some advice on how to get through the rest of the time, go do things you did before you met her. Cry to let out your pain, but cry alone, and when you get tired of crying, then stop doing doing so, wash your face, brush your teeth, and meet some friends. Let yourself be entertained, distracted, and you’ll find your way back.
Again, I apologize it’s been so long since I’ve been here, and I haven’t yet taken the time to respond to all your kindness and support. Thank you so much for being here guys, and just encouraging/praying for me, and giving me advice about how to get through this. I am genuinely so thankful for you guys and this community- still wouldn’t be here without you all. I’m on my way to healing and just trying to let people be there and be thankful.
