I haven’t needed to write on here in a while. My last post was june of 23. Im back at a point where everything is falling apart around me and it feels like it all my fault. Ivr been doing so well about not cutting and strangling myself til my grip gives out, i haven’t done it in nearly a year. But its all i can think about right now. Its better then what i actually want to do.
All the drama started by me asking for help with getting my animals set up. Then turned into me being “childish and throwing tantrums.” When all i did was beg for help for months. Then 2 of my snakes died. Then turns into i can only see my niece n nephews supervised. And now my father kicked me and my mom and our animals out so he can have my brother back.
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First off, I want to share how amazing it is that you been able to keep away from self-harm. That is a great struggle, and you are doing better than you think you are. This might be the longest you’ve been since you’ve last self-harmed, and everyday brings new challenges.
It sounds like you are under a lot of stress right now. You were ignored when you asked for help, and as a result you lost two of your loved pets. You have various family tensions which is now taking away the place you called home. You are feeling so much grief, pain, maybe even betrayed. The people who are supposed to be there for you are cutting you out.
It makes sense to want to turn to any form of relief. You are so strong to face your demons everyday, even on the days when it feels like too much. Even if you do end up turning to self-harm again, know that it does not change your worth or the progress you’ve made so far. If you’ve made it this far once, then you know it’s possible to be able to make it at least this far again.
Hold Fast. We Believe in You.
Hello there,
Definitely not a easy situation to be going through and hope things get better for you mentioned and opening up is honestly the best thing to do.
Sometimes things are unexpected in life and pop up all of a sudden it not a easy situation. Definitely you’re not alone through all this and can definitely make it back out of this struggle. It feels like there no help from you’re family and were ignored twice. Also your two loved snake had died. I can understand why you’re feeling dissatisfied throughout all these issues. Hope things get better for you and you can definitely make through what you’re facing.
Take Care & Hold Fast.
Oh man that is really hard. Taking care of animals takes so much of our hearts. Sometimes people just don’t understand that. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to resort to self-harm again. That can be so devastating to feel like you’ve been on a straight track and then just like that you’ve fallen back to things that you’d been able to avoid for so long. I’m so sorry you lost your snakes and it sounds like the result of that was more hardship. I know it can feel like you’re back at square one, surrounded by darkness. When I’ve found myself in places like that, I try to remember that I’ve been here before and I found my way out before. And those paths out are still there and I can remember them because I’ve tread them in the past. I really appreciate you posting about this.