I can’t sleep lately and it’s getting to me more and more each day. I’m trying to go to bed at around 9pm, which seems reasonable, right?
Yet I lay there for hours afterwards unable to sleep and often end up getting frustrated and giving up. Turning on YouTube and just watching that until I eventually pass out, which lately hasn’t been until around 5am. It’s leaving me with a very short fuse, and just no will to get through the day. I get upset, I get mad at myself, and I start having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm. Then I get more thoughts of how useless and worthless I am. I get those thoughts anyway, but they get amplified by the not sleeping.
Everything hurts. Physically and mentally. I’m just… tired.
Tired of everything. Tired of myself. Tired of existence. Tired of being… me.
I’m tired. Feeling very unwell. My meds aren’t helping.
Hi darling,
Short Term Solution
Take some antidepressants you’ll feel much better.
Long Term Solutions
Find out why you feel this way, what’s the cause. Requires Self Awareness, Self Reflection, humility.
Symptoms
Insomnia, Depression, Self Hate
I feel worse because I have abusive parents and I don’t have a job so I can’t leave, but I’m holding myself together with Self Compassion and Mindfulness.
Hey @mammawolf,
I’m so sorry that sleeping has been difficult lately. I struggle a lot with having good sleeping patterns too, and it’s always impressive to see how much lacking of sleep can impact our mood, especially if we already feel vulnerable. When I’m not rested, I feel a lot more anxious about everything, my mind is all over the place and suicidal thoughts appears to be more present. With these circumstances, how you feel during the day really makes sense, and I hope you can take care of yourself, as much as possible. Sometimes even just a “power nap” during the day can have some really, really positive effects for the rest of the day.
If sometimes you feel like slipping into some dark corners of your mind, please don’t forget that circumstances are playing a huge role in the way you feel and think these days. It’s okay to challenge those thoughts, just like it’s okay to share your voice when you feel tired. You are not worthless, friend. You’re going through a rough time, and that doesn’t say anything about you, as a human being.
I hear that you’re also under medications, and I’d like to encourage you to talk to your doctor about it if you feel like it’s not helping. It’s important to make some adjustments with your doctor when you need it. If something doesn’t work for you and your body right now, then it might be worth it to try differently, with the help of a professional. In any case, I really want to encourage you to take the steps that are needed to receive the help you need. A good sleep is vital, and we all want the best for you here.
I’m sending hugs your way. Take care, friend. We love you. 
I’m with you friend, I take three different pills related to sleeping one is a anxiety med but makes me sleep, well used to. I took them almost two hours ago, I’ve tried physical activity I’ve tried teas whatever I can. Writing here helped the other day a lot my brain shut off, and I read I find books people talk about and tear into them and usually doze off that way, maybe a good outlet to try. I just wanted to let you know your not alone and somewhere we’ll find help 
I hope you get some rest and get to feeling better
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