Life is a confusing thing isnt it?

I found out two years ago that my “dad” is not my real dad. He is the father of my younger sister. However my real father is a recovered drug addict who wants nothing to do with me. I cant seem to get over the fact that my parents lied to me my whole life. I didn’t even find out from them but instead my uncle who told me out of anger when he was in a fight with my mom. My whole family knew except for me and my sisters. Everyone just kept lying to us. My older sisters dad died when she was a baby but my mom told her. I don’t get why she lied to me about it… its truly not fair. It eats me up inside. Don’t get me wrong i love my parents but i have so many feelings building up inside me. Anger, resentment, and a grudge. I never truly forgave them and they just act like everythings fine and it was no big deal. When i first found out they werent even apologetic they just blamed me. My mom was the worst. I went to my grandmas house when i first found out and wanted to be alone their and just stay for a week to get away from my parents but my mother freaked out she called me up screaming at me every day and kept threatening me to call the cops saying that i was a runaway. I just dont know how to get over this.


Hey there, i’m so sorry to hear about this.
But through it all you are loved. It’s okay to feeling angry, i would be too. But friend, try each day to forgive them, i promise you that once you do, it will start lifting a burden off your chest as well. Yes it’s hard, and it doesn’t feel good. But the great pain can lead to great joy. It may take a while and that’s okay. Try to reconcile with your parents. It may hurt, but try. Try sitting them down for a serious talk and tell them how you feel. Everything will be okay friend. Praying for you.

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Man, it feels like such a betrayal…like you were living on all of this fact information…like the love you gave to your dad feels tainted because it was based on an assumption, on a foundation, of him being your real father, and even though it doesn’t necessarily change all that he’s done for you, it does feel like you weren’t given accurate information and so it makes you feel confused and like you have to question everything…it just feels like you had this seismic earthquake rift through your life, and everyone’s expecting you to be “JUST FINE” and to get over it like it’s no big deal…but it’s not their life they’re talking about, it’s yours, and you’re feeling so shaken up by it that you can’t make heads or tails of what matters, what’s real, and what you can trust. You wish they’d be more understanding…well, really you wished they’d have just told you the truth so you could have lived your life this whole time with an accurate understanding of your own dad and your own life…but them understanding your emotions wouldn’t be a terrible start either.

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Hi friend,

this is the worst to hear, however even if they’re not your real parents they are still your family. I know you feel betrayed, but they’re probably as scared as you. Give time to the situation to cool down and then try to reach out.

Keep us updated

Pioggia :sunflower:

Don’t get over it. You are angry and you have a right to be. Just realize just because your Dad isn’t your biological Dad, doesn’t mean that he is not your Dad. Also realize just because your biological Dad wants nothing to do with you that it isn’t your problem (You’re not a problem) that is his (Make sure though did your bio-dad tell you this or are they telling you this?)

You don’t have to forgive them. Forgiving people are just a coping mechanism for you to tolerate what is going on. It has really nothing to do with the people you forgave. So if you can’t forgive than I would advise against it especially since it isn’t for you. Yet I still say be cordial since it is the human thing to do.

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First of all, hugs to you. <3 Of course you’re angry and upset, that is an understandable response when you find out that things you believed were a lie and people you trusted lied to you. You don’t have to just get over it. This was basically a big bombshell that got dropped on you and it was dropped on you in a way that was not constructive and very hurtful. It sounds like the fallout from this was not handled well, so of course you’re upset and you have every right to be. I am sorry that you’re hurting and I am sorry that your family was not supportive or understanding about why you were upset. Sometimes parents tell themselves they are doing the right thing by not telling their kids the truth to protect them and that’s not on you, that’s on them. However, maybe when you feel a little less angry you can all sit down and talk it out. It may even be a good idea to have someone neutral there in case things get heated, because you do need to talk them and do your best to calmly explain how you’re feeling and why and then do your best to listen to what they have to say about it. By having that open communication perhaps you can work through it together. Keep us updated. Lots of love to you. It will be okay. <3

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I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this. I can’t begin to imagine what that feels like. However, I do know what it’s like to be blamed for things that are beyond your control. I live in an abusive family and get that everyday.
Just know, the things you’re feeling ARE valid and to be expected. Please take the time to realise that, to understand and accept them. It’s hard, but try to keep your head up and remember that it’s not your fault. There are people that love you and want to help you and thank you for sharing this.

Hold Fast

thanks for sharing :hearts:

Your biological father may not want to have anything to do with you but your adoptive father seems to love you. I KNOW this is rough for you. If you need time to rest that’s fine and your family will have to understand that. I understand your upset as my mother left me when I was 8 for my abusive step dad. She wanted nothing to do with me either. It’s a big deal. But it doesn’t define you. Thank you for sharing ,hold fast,

Hey friend, here is our live video response from our Twitch stream:


Thank you so much for this. I appreciate it so much.