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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Mansion by NF
life is not without a sense of irony. 4 years ago my buddy introduced me to NF and I couldn’t really bother paying him any mind. about a year ago a friend I had been talking to told me to look up Hope and Hope was the song that caught my attention. Mansion wasn’t really a song that got my attention until about a month ago. I’ve heard it before but after visualizing my life through it and my current circumstances, its as though God’s been speaking to me all along through music. over the last 6 months or so I’ve been helping my friend fix his house and I’ve been listening to a lot of NF recently so I’ve been seeing a lot of symbolism in my life as of late. I used to be a really bad person despite everyone around me telling me that I was a good man. what I didn’t understand until recently was I should have stopped listening to those people years ago and thought about my morals and goals. there are a lot of things in my life I wish that I could undo and a lot of people that I’ve hurt that I wish I could help heal. it is because of these things that I contemplate suicide on a daily basis. I find it hard to find value in myself when all I’ve done my whole life is cause pain and suffering because of the pain and suffering that was caused to me during my childhood.
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Oh man, it’s so cool to be able to reflect on how music pops back up right when you need it. How as you’re remodeling a house you’ve found yourself to this song. I see your pain friend, and it may be true that you have made mistakes in the past, and hurt people, because you’re a human and we ALLLL have made mistakes and others have gotten hurt because of them. But i know it’s not ture that ALL you 've done in your life is caluse pain and suffering. I know this because even in this short comment you shared how you’re helping your friend fix his house. That’s something beautiful. That’s a gift. That is generating NEW life a new HOME for someone you care for and that is good and beautiful. I also hear you say that you grew up with pain and suffering in childhood, and that likely means you learned patterns of pain that take time and intentionality to break. My hope, my prayer, my wish for you is that as you acknowledge the mistakes you made, you also acknowledge the value you have brought. You are not all bad. You deserve to live, and heal and to move forward, and I hope that you’ll continue to fight to move forward in doing that. The truth is there are BEAUTIFUL rooms in your house. You invited me into your mansion a little bit by sharing here, and I hope that you’ll keep inviting people in to your mansion because your life has a purpose even if it’s hard to believe some days. I believe it. I see it. Sending love friend - T
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