Loneliness for being 32

[Metalskater1990]

Hey everyone

( quick side note I’m sorry past topic I talk for a couple, stilling struggle a lot of my friend leaving and still hurt by her. I’m trying better not using sexist terms and harsh language. I only post, I don’t myself look like an asshole on social media. Please I hope you understand.)

Alright, I been feeling really fucking alone right now. I look instragm video where saw my ex friend. It hurt to see her so bad went into a dark spiral. I’m using my DBT skill calm myself down, and I kinda did, but heartbreak last at two month and not going away. What make all I’m close guys are going out difference paths. I no one to call a friend right now.

I’m been struggling being a 32 virgin living in my parents and with not enough to move out. Also no option for roommates. So I’m pretty trap and feel I have no say in my life. I never got really grow up I guess. I know not the only one, there a lot anger young men that going to dark , being blind by incel beliefs, and just going dark evil places. I feel becoming a huge problem.

I want to bring awareness, a lot these ideal made into more a shitty person. I have unfortunately more sexist , and more close mind. I’m not handling rejection and also I been struggle get over my ex friend.

I’m writing people need how we treat adults virgin both male / female. Virginity in both sexiest are both deal toxic masculinity and stereotypes in society. Also religious standards on sex in general. It feel some society what do with your body. Like you ether have stay a virgin by religion or you get call a whore if you sleep with more than one person. But point across is that I feel that fuck up pressure on men to sex. If don’t do this thing, they less of man or losers. Which can also make men view women as sex object just score points. Then this whole mess up incel come along brainwash alot men into hating women. Make do terrible awful crime such shooting.

My therapists have awesome trying get me out that dark fuck mindset. My family also help, even they tell that ex friend did not mean to hurt. I just scare, I rather say she hate me, because situations has so gray areas. But still anger, hatred and my shadow trying whipshers saying she never care about you. You all alone with no one.

I wish way get men out the whole incel ideology that infecting our society. I wish no person judge for being a virgin or not being virgin. Just everyone have every right what do with thier body. Also the have right sleep with as much people as they want. Again, myself including a lot these guy are blind hate and pain. To be honest, we are actually projecting. We have those same thoughts about dating everyone else. We get picky, we probably ghost someone and broken someone. But we get mad when girl do it to us. Cause we need better of being rejected. I need get be less anger my ex friend and dating seen. I know for fact, not all women are bad. Honestly they have hard in general, especially in dating scene. I understand would reject men, because their a lot asshole men lol.

I just get this into dark mind, I’m trying these thoughts every single day, it goddamn battle. But we this need a lot more. I think people less about adults virgins both male and female. Again I wanna stress, you a righthave to own body , choose give v card or to keep. Also have much sex you want, as you treat people with respect, respecting boundaries and not hurt anyone. I just we all equally human, keeping myself I need do better how I view people and hopefully we can all be closer.

[Sapphire]

I agree with is. There is too much societal pressure revolving around sex or lack thereof. It shouldn’t be a representation of social standing, while at the same time it shouldn’t dictate ones self worth either.

I was a virgin until I got married, not for religious reasons, but because I have issues will trusting people and being touched in general, even simple stuff like handshakes or hugs. For me, I require a tremendous amount of trust to be intimate with another person. I know it is not like this for everyone and that is ok too.

I’ve been keeping up with your posts about your ex friend but I’m really not sure of how to respond to them to help you. You are a very self aware and introspective person and I can tell you are a good person. I’m sorry you have such difficulties with relationships. I really do think you deserve more as a person, but alas, we can’t always change the nature of things like this, where the outcome of a relationship is dependent on a 2nd person, not just your own work. I hope that in time this pain will lessen for you and you will find more fulfilling relationships.

[ManekiNeko]

I’m really proud of you. You have a safe space here to talk, and we understand how it’s been very hard for you and you’ve been very hurt.
You’re making so much progress.
You are right that society puts this pressure on men to experience sexual interactions it’s not fair to judge people on whether they have or have not had sex or who they have sex with ect.

It’s okay if people want to know they’ve found someone they trust before they are intimate. For some people it’s a really special thing and it almost feels like revealing the deepest part of themselves.
For some people it’s something that’s enjoyable and freeing.
And that’s okay! For both of those to be who they are.

[Aardvark]

Hi Friend,
thank you for reaching out and sharing this.
you do great with expressing all of that, and how you did that this time. i am proud of you.
don’t get me wrong, you do great in all your posts, because expressing feelings is a great thing to do.
you are right, society especially tries to pressure us all the time, in many terms these days. you should be
better, a men more a men, women more women, sex sells, everybody tries to have a new and better opinion
on something, etc … too much. judging is becoming more and more a thing, even more then before.
also envy is ruining mankind. the more you focus on society, focus on others, the more you griev, the more you
suffer, the more you sink in a hole.
you did great with this post, don’t pressure yourself in any ways these days. concentrate and focus on yourself.
don’t look at others, treat others like you want to be treated.
there is nothing funny with being kind, loving and understandable. we should seek peace and love for ourselves
and the people around us, for the whole world.
thank you for shaing this. you are loved my friend. you matter ! look at you, you can be proud, we are proud of
you and i am. feel hugged and have a wonderful day

[Sita]

I am so proud of you for working through these feelings and thoughts.

Society is pretty stupid in a lot of ways, especially with sex. You are absolutely right, not having sex? get branded and called things. Have too much sex? Called other names and branded something else.
You can’t make everyone happy, and they’ll always be societal pressure to do this thing, or that thing.

I’m glad you were able to use your DBT skills and work through some emotions. Keep at it, things will start to feel a bit better soon. You matter, friend.