I hate the way my mind works…I go from happy to sad and isolated so quickly sometimes. When I’m bored, I feel sadness. My mind runs a million miles an hour sometimes and the voices don’t help. Recently, I feel like my depression state of mind has gotten to a point where I reach a mentally isolated state of mind where I don’t want to talk or be around anyone, I conjure up situations in my head that piss me off and annoy me, and I just mentally shut down and can’t focus. It’s really just how my mind works I guess.
I truly don’t know how to explain what goes on in my head sometimes, and sometimes I feel like there must be some diagnosis for it. I am thinking about looking into counseling, but I don’t know just yet because a part of me feels like it would be an impulse decision to try and get answers.
Idk…has anyone gone through something similar?
@dbowlin Hey. If you have the resources to get therapy to get a diagnosis, I say go for it! That’s great. You deserve to get a diagnosis and start treatment to try to feel better. I know that the unknown is scary. It’s like, what if they find something and it’s not curable? What if there aren’t any treatments? Or what if there are treatments, but none of them work for you? These are the things that go through my mind when I’m scared of finding out what’s wrong. Maybe the first step to relief for you is the diagnosis because you know what it is and what treatment there is that does work. But it’s worth going to the doctor to find out, because even if there isn’t anything they could do to help, there are tools they could give you that you can use to try to help yourself. The only way to find out if any of these situations apply to you is to take that first step. Or maybe I should say second step. You came here and talked about it, and that’s a huge step in itself. I hope you can come to the realization that you deserve to get a diagnosis and that it’s not an impulse decision. It’s doing something to make sure you’re healthy. That’s important.
Edit: Don’t take what I said as me saying that there’s nothing that will work for you, it’s just how I tend to look at things for myself.
The hardest part of getting healthy is going to the doctor for the first time, for the exact reason you stated. Am I just being melodramatic? Will it get better by itself?
Just like going to the physician when you have a cold, going to a therapist when your thoughts aren’t getting better isn’t objectively a big deal, even if it feels like it. They’re paid to examine you and help you get better.
I remember conjuring up situations that made me angry or sad, accompanied by some very incisive music, just so I could feel something through my numbness. My counselor once told me that at after awhile your brain physically rewires itself so you only respond to negative feelings. When that happens, it’s a hard battle to get back to some kind of normal.
That was my doomsday scenario. Otherwise, being in a light mood today, I’d say just go if you’re able. What’s the worst that could happen?