Losing all hope

Years of being pushed around forced passed many breaking points, being smacked around, constant verbal abuse, all I ever asked is “why?” What I needed to be asking was “when?” When can I leave this hell-hole? When can I show them that I can’t be broken? Well, the answer to that is never. I’ll never be good enough for anything. I can fantasize of freedom, just like a caged bird, but I’ll never escape. Their memories forever imprinted in my mind. I’ll always be the whiny stupid little girl in their eyes. I’ll never escape the clutches of evil. I’m hopelessly lost, and I’ll never find a way out. I’m not entirely sure how much I can handle. I don’t want to play the victim, but sometimes you have to. I feel like a background stuck as a lead, awkward and lost. I’m physically drained every day from the stress of trying to seem happy, I’m mentally exhausted from trying to deal with this on my own. Yes, I do talk with people about it, but I could never share the full story. I don’t think I ever will be able to. I’m just a stupid little girl. I’m sorry.

Is your home life bad?
Are you stuck with someone you want to leave ?
What is it that’s holding you back from leaving being free

You are not stupid or little. No one has the right to dictate how you live and how you feel and when you die. No one, that belongs only to you. It feels like you’ll never find a way out, but nothing lasts forever. Take it one day at a time.
You’re bulletproof. I know you are.

“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end you end up polished and they end up useless.” - Andy Biersack