Lost all hope, found it, then lost it again

So, This week, I had a lot of fun. I was really happy this week. I finally had found some hope, but then things just kept going downhill. Monday: no one believes that I had a concussion, my dad tells me to get over it, and people shouting purposefully in my face. Tuesday: my day was okay, I ended up having to get some academic help, but people kept making fun of me left and right, I had some teacher making fun of me too. Wednesday: I had to go to gym class with a really bad headache, it was the worst day for my concussion, but because I didn’t have a doctors note, she didn’t believe me, my anxiety kicked in, and my entire world fell apart, I couldn’t handle it. My gym teacher lets everyone go, she lets everyone get away with everything, but I can’t do anything right. Thursday: I had a Gay-Straight Alliance meeting, I’m one of the leaders for our school, I was really happy, and everything felt perfect, but when I got home, I found out my brother was going up to my mom’s house. I’m so scared, I don’t want him to get hurt, she’s more than likely going to feed him a whole bunch of lies because I was kicked out and won’t be there to take it so he doesn’t have to. Friday: today was a train wreck from the start, I woke up with no voice, my friends all had to rub it in my face that they actually have money, and my family doesn’t. Christmas is right around the corner, and I still don’t have a present for everyone. I just found out that my uncle is getting a divorce, my aunt is pregnant, and my youngest brother is acting like a lunatic. I thought I had found hope, but people always have to ruin the nicest things. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it through another year, the 24th is also a year since the last time I was almost successful in a suicide attempt. It’s going to be a hard year this year, and I’m not sure I can handle it. I guess what I wish for this Christmas is a normal life with a normal family, no drama, no more abusive mom, no more being afraid of getting hit everytime my stepmom slightly raises her voice, no more anything. I’m done with it all. Please. No more.

Just hang in there. Be strong.