Coming on two years now I ruined my relationship. Not only did I lose an amazing partner, but I lost my best friend. During that time I continued to fall deeper into my own misery and tried to get help. We both wanted to stay friends. I was horrible at trying or doing that. Around November of last year right before Thanksgiving I finally felt completely alone and lost.
I know I can never gain back the romantic relationship, but I really miss having my friend to talk to.
Losing someone you were in love with can truly be heartbreaking. It seems as if the heart will never heal but the upside to this is that love will find you again and you will realize that one relationship had to end in order for something beautiful to begin. So, hold on because you will meet love again. Good luck because you deserve to be loved!!
Hey @whitey_wingnut19,
Welcome to HeartSupport and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Losing a partner and best friend in one go is a heavy weight to carry.
Are you wanting to reach out to them? If so, I would say keep it simple and genuine. A quick text could be a good way to start. Acknowledge the past but keep the focus on wanting to reconnect as friends. You could say something like:
“I know it’s been a while, and I wanted to reach out. I miss our friendship and was wondering if you’d be open to catching up sometime, even if it’s just for coffee (or if there’s something you enjoyed, then replace it with that).”
I’d also say it’s commendable that you’re trying to rebuild your support system. While reconnecting with your ex might be ideal, focus on strengthening other friendships or finding new ones. Rebuilding a friendship takes time, even if things were strong before. Focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself, and friendships (including a potential one with your ex) can grow organically.
It may not be easy, but it’s possible to move forward and find happiness again.
You’ve got this <3
Hey @whitey_wingnut19,
I wanted to check in and see how you were doing. Losing someone so close to you is really difficult. Thank you for reaching out and being vulnerable with us. I lost a best friend of mine before, and I really relate to you saying you feel lost at times.
I want you to know that no matter how cheesy it sounds, time does heal all. Over time, you will find that good memories with that person will no longer make you feel sad; it will just be a good memory. You will start collecting new memories and meet new people that will make you feel whole again. It sucks, but you have to be patient, and I assure you, good things will come your way.
If you miss this person’s company and them as a friend, I would really suggest reaching out. No matter how the situation ended, I am sure they would be happy to know you were thinking of them, and there is never any harm in reminding the people we care about that they are important to us. You could give them a call or send a super simple text asking them to grab a cup of coffee.
I wish you luck <3
Thank you, @djstarion and @sbrent for the helpful words. It’s been a rough few weeks and I’ve just been working on keeping myself together. We’ve known each other since the early 00’s. I am really trying to move forward overall, but I just feel like I have lost any continued reason to be anything outside of work. I hope to get a type of friendship back with her eventually, especially when we enjoy some of the same music and want to see the same bands come to town.
Appreciate your share and can relate a lot to your story of losing someone that you love and care about because of self-sabotaging behaviors.
It’s never an easy one to sit with knowing the cause of it ending was self-inflicted.
Please know you’re not alone during these times, hope in solidarity is a powerful force.
Remember to be kind and gentle with yourself, words of affirmation are foundational.
Moving on has been really difficult as she’s the one person I think of when anything happens in my life I want to share with. Even as a friend. So losing everything has been hard. I was trying group therapy and had someone say something that really hit a deep wound of self doubt and second guessing. I saw them both at a concert we would have gone to together. She was happy…I hit my breaking point and it’s been the worse since. Trying to get better therapy and I’ve been on so many waiting list it feels like a lost cause.
I just don’t know who I am any more. We clicked on so many things and now I feel like I’ve lost all of myself as well. It sucks and I’ve been trying to keep my emotions together.