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Lost my brother to fent in 2020, my dad in 2021 and they were my only family by blood, i beat the needle with suboxone which rotted my teeth pretty bad and now im battling with adderall and xanax which they gave me to get over finding my brother dead in his room, he was my best friend my big brother, Houston Teal. Love you bro, and miss you pops. Wish you could see my kids. I named my son after you two. Richard Houston. I have dealt with a broken heart and constant anxiety and panic attacks since then and cant seem to beat em.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your brother and dad, especially so close together. You didn’t even really get time to fully process and heal from the loss of your brother before getting thrown back into the world wind of loss again the next year. I’m sorry that things have been taking such a toll on your emotional and mental health with the anxiety and panic attacks. Healing from the pain and broken heartedness of the deaths of family members can be so hard. And it takes people a different amount of time to be okay, in a way, again.
I am proud of you for being able to beat and overcome your usage. I like to think that your brother and father would be proud of you too. You were strong and you fought and came out on top. I am rooting for you to be able to do it again with your current struggles of anxiety and panic attacks. I can imagine the trauma that comes with finding your brother dead. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone and yet it is a weight that you carry daily. I imagine it adds to the pain, having that image of him swimming around in your head must be haunting. Something like that can take a while to overcome, but you have beaten a struggle before and I believe that in time, one day, you can beat these anxiety and panic attacks too.
I think it is so sweet and endearing that you named your son after them. It must mean a lot to you to have been able to do that. That your son can be a positive reminder of them and help you carry on their memory and what they meant to you. I hope that as you carry on, one day at a time, moment by moment your heart will slowly heal and one day, you’ll find yourself standing on top of these struggles, a conqueror just as you once did before.
