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Lost my father to. I didn’t like him very much at the end. But the song Coma year describes how I felt for a long time.
I don’t know the song you referred to but I understand the mixed emotions that come with family relationships. Some relationships are really hard to deal with…I’m sorry you didn’t like your Dad very much in the end. I imagine there’s good reason. I think dads are supposed to be protectors and providers for their kids, and lead them and guide them into living well as the next generation.
Take good care of you as you make your way~
Hard to feel like you experience a loss, but there was no reconciliation - part of you feels apathetic and factual…like, yeah my dad died…but there’s also part of you that might have held hope that something would have changed, like the relationship would have been mended…and loss buries that kind of hope with it. Which, when you feel apart from apathy, is hard to stomach. Permanency, especially in a negative context with loss, is painful. Hard to fully accept.