An update.
I never did hear from the counseling center I contacted so I made a call to a service that will call/text appointments (fine with me) and I’m waiting to be matched with someone. I didn’t disclose my recent suicidal thoughts though, because I’m not going to act on them.
So I suppose this is progress. Hopefully it doesn’t take long to get matched.
It really does sound like progress, especially your persistence in finding help.
Fingers crossed for the match to happen soon. It sounds like an interesting alternative to get in touch with someone one on one. Rooting for you as you are waiting, and hoping that it will give you some peace and relief over time. You got this. 
I had a breakdown last night. I just called a crisis help line. They didn’t help. I’m still not seeing a therapist. I give up.
Please hang in there, friend. You are so very loved.
Would reaching out to your husband be a possibility? Without necessarily sharing details, but manifesting that you are going through a particularly rough time and need a shoulder to rest on.
I care about you, @Sapphire.
Thinking of you this morning. Sending much love your way, and hoping for the weekend ahead to feel restful/recharging/more peaceful for you. 
I finally told my husband yesterday about my suicidal thoughts and he is trying to help. He scheduled me an appointment at a spa tomorrow and he texted my god-mom to see if she will go out with me next weekend.
So very proud of you @Sapphire. It sounds like he responded in a very supporting manner, and there are some good things ahead to look forward to - love that you’ve planned some helpful things, and involving a little bit your relatives at the same time. <3
How do you feel about all of this?
Initially I didnt really want to.
I think since I talked to my husband a few days ago he has been doing more to go out of his way to try to make my days easier. I can say now that I no longer feel like I am in crisis.
This is good to hear - I hope you can find some rest and relief in the upcoming days. Even just a bit.
I also imagine the inner conflict between knowing that reaching out is okay, even needed, but also just not wanting to do it. To keep this part of your world and mind just for yourself. There’s something unwanted and intimidating in doing so. If anything, you can be proud of yourself for taking the leap of reaching out and being vulnerable with your husband. I’m surely proud of you.