I know I wrote before about being unhappy and relationship im a college student well I don’t know if im going to be one next semester. Well, I now have to repeat two of my classes im not sure about another class. Even though im 18 years old my mom is very strict about my grades she said as long as I live under her roof her rules. there days where I want to run away not once as she thanks me for taking care of my brother who is special needs. I try my best to make everyone happy but me. This happened yesterday she started yelling at me for all the stupid stuff I’ve done. I felt worthless she brought up how I wanted to kill myself and how that was stupid for it. Its been two years since I’ve thought about suicide and how I need to make peace with my stepdad I’ve tried so many times but I ended up getting hurt and getting judge but my stepdad. I wanted to talk to her about it but don’t know how it’s hard because of my culture being Mexican American is hard to talk about things. But I can’t make myself happy I just want to know how it feels like. Thank you for understanding and reading friends.
I recall being in your particular situation long ago. It has to be hard doesn’t It, feeling like your self-worth is being put into question? Being in college is tough. The pressure that your mother puts you under must be hard at times I imagine and that adds up to your dismay and unhappiness. Do you feel like she is in the right for the way things are going between you two? Or do you find It unfair?
The way I dealt with my particular situation was moving out of the house. It took time for me to buy a place but I did It. That wasn’t easy for me to do. Its hard for anyone especially a young person going out on your own, It is scary. It can be a solution for you perhaps. But before you go down that road consider alternatives. Maybe there is something that hasn’t come to surface yet between the two of you and the rest of the family that needs to be brought out. A misunderstanding perhaps?
But running away and committing suicide. These are no alternatives that you should consider. These are new problems. Adding new problems to a problem is not the right answer.
Communication is the key here. I know you are hesitant talking to her, but It has to be done. When you find the right time I want you to tell her how you feel. Tell her what is bothering you. Let her listen and comprehend. Allow her to respond. She may want to share her problems too. Listen to them, fully comprehend what her response is. Come to an understanding and work together to find a solution.
Your mom sounds to have very high standards and it’s really hard to have a parent who doesn’t seem to acknowledge your efforts or, at least, encourages you.
You are a dedicated person and it’s obvious that you sincerely care about others. It’s a wonderful quality that you have. So I hope that, despite your family relationships, you allow yourself to be proud of how awesome you are. Because your family is very lucky to have you by their side.
Even if you want to make everyone else happy, you matter. You have needs that have to be fulfilled, whether it’s related to your studies, your relationships or your current struggles. So don’t forget to also allow your time, your energy and your resources for yourself.
Suicide is not a solution. It’s not even an option. And I know it can be really difficult to talk about that. It can be scary for our relatives to hear what’s going on and understand the reality of it. But @Devin is right: communication is key. You can prepare what you want to say to her before, so you can better the odds of being listened and understood. Sometimes having a honest discussion can induce some really positive changes in a relationship.
I also wish you the best for you studies. Hang in there! Even if you don’t reach your goals today, it will be still possible to get there tomorrow.
