Have you ever been so affected be something in your past, you react when you know you’re safe?
My younger brother, he got yelled at today, he was just being stupid. It wasn’t even yelling, it was just him being talked to sternly, and my immediate reaction was that it’s my fault. I’m so used to being called so many names by my real mom, that when my stepmom isn’t really yelling, I just assume I’m gonna get hit. I feel like an idiot, but I can’t help it. I feel so useless for being the way I am.
What didn’t help this whole situation, is that I had a rough day at school, and when my dad picked up on it, he started to be rude about it. Now, my dad is an amazing person, he served in the Marines, he was a cop, and now works for the fire department, he’s seen some stuff, he has PTSD. He is one of my best friends, but he started to get snippy with me because I was afraid of getting hit.
I really wish he understood what goes on in my head. He was sending me to counseling, and I enjoyed it. I felt better just talking to someone, but she ruined my life. October (and now November) have been hell…