The title is odd I know. But please be willing to hear me out.
How can you be suicidal if you’re a mental health professional? Can’t you help yourself like you help others? Don’t you talk people down all day can’t you do the same for yourself?
All these questions make sense as a MHP. But hey, even as an MPH I still daily struggle with my own mental health. In my job specifically there’s a lot of unanswered questions, did they get help, are they still alive. Daily I ask myself those questions.
So why am I here posting on the wall… because I need help too. I need someone to do what I do for others for me.
Most will say but monkey you make $100,000 a year, you have a husband, a daughter, you work from home, what could be so bad in your life…
Trauma… years of trauma I never healed from. Guilt. Guilt of past suicide attempts. Guilt of past thoughts. Guilt of previous mistakes. Guilt over a miscarriage. Guilt that even though my husband and I have been trying for 8 months we are still not pregnant.
I promised Nate almost 8 years ago when I was struggling… I’d reach out. So here I am.
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Hi @Monkey,
Thanks, for expressing your concerns! I can relate to your post a lot. There are mental health professionals that also struggle with mental health issues too. Mental health issue does take a toll on my life. However, I tried to not allow my mental health disorder stop from me doing something that I enjoy. This year I got accepted into social work to become a mental health professional. The main reason I became a mental therapist because I love to help other and never want anyone went through some bad events like I did in my life. I’m always thankful for HeartSupport to inspire me to become a mental health therapist.
There are many reasons that I want to become a mental health therapist besides income. I also do want to find different methods to treat others. I’m happy to be part of someone’s life when they are going through something difficult too. If I was a mental health therapist, I would feel less depress because when I work it distracts me thinking about my mental health disorder. I’m alway passion to learn mental health disorders and therapy methods.
I believed that you are wonderful mental health professional but are you seeing a therapist for help. Even I become a mental health professional, I still see a therapist for certain problems that I might encounter. There is nothing embarrassing seeking help for a therapist. You aren’t perfect human being and might not all have the answers to help patients. The best thing that you did was to listen and comfort others.
There are days that I struggle with trauma. Trauma will always be there in my life. The best thing I can do is to move on from the past. Everyone goes through a different experience with trauma. It will take many years for others to heal. I always see trauma as a learning and improving myself. This is my experience with trauma the longer I was stuck in the past the more I felt depress and wasting time. There are many things I have to catch up like movies, books, news, and etc. due to trauma.
I’m sorry for your loss with miscarriage and it’s not your fault. You did the best that you can do. I feel like you are a wonderful mother and mental health professional. Don’t be so harsh on yourself! I’m here to support you the best I can. You aren’t alone with mental health issue because I also struggle with it too.
Hi Monkey! I’m so glad you did take that step and reach out. As you know, we can get so caught up in our thoughts and lost in our mindsets that taking that leap to connect with others is a big deal. I did a video response to share some thoughts and offer some support. Mental Health Professional But Suicidal -- Response | Loom