We’re rearranging rooms and stuff so it accommodates my aunt and uncle, so we just cleaned my room completely so now they’re staying in my room and I’m moving into my sister’s room with her, which is fine because we used to sleep together in the past and this will just be a long sleepover, but because we haven’t done it in a while, it’s stressful and it feels weird… I feel like I’m now getting too much into her space and all of this is stressful and I’m not sure if I can handle this change. I’m so used to having my own room to be independent and have my own relaxing area, but now that’s being torn away from me. I won’t have a place to relax now because I’m going to be sharing the same space as her…
Well, it’s really nice for your aunt and uncle, but I’d wish for you to keep your own space and intimacy in such circumstances. It’s quite normal to feel stressed by all of this for the moment. You’re all in quite a weird season right now, with unexpected news, changes, and you’ll need time to adapt to it. I spent my entire childhood in the same room as my sister, and we have 6 years of difference. Sometimes it was stressful, but we got used to it and were able to have both our own “arena” in this room. It came naturally. It is possible.
Try to surround yourself with the things that makes you feel great, relaxed. If you can, maybe you could try to personalize a wall, or a shelf, even temporarily? With encouraging reminders and things you love. It may be less space, it may be unexpected, but you can still try to re-arrange together this space to make it comfortable for both of you, as much as possible. Also I don’t know what is your relationship with your sister, but you can try to talk about it together, as this change is certainly impacting both of you in a similar way.
Sorry, I just realized you actually didn’t ask for any advice. Just hope for you that things will go as smooth as possible and you’ll manage to handle those changes in the most peaceful way possible. It’s gonna be okay, friend.
I can relate to the sharing of space. For most of my life I had to share a room with someone and it wasn’t until halfway through secondary school did I have my own room and then years later my family moved to a smaller place and then I was back to sharing a space with someone. At times I hated it because I felt I literally had no place to go and that we were all on top of each other. Now I have my own room again. What helped me was having headphones to block out outside noise, which given my environment helped. I also had a wall that I could put posters and pictures up so I can look at things that made me happy. It’s going to be an adjustment period and that is okay. Take some time to yourself and process this. It’s okay to talk to your sister she probably is having similar thoughts as you. Hope that you and her can adjust happily together and can make it work. Know that we are here if you need to vent or talk.
Thanks. Also, it’s fine! Any advice would be helpful. I feel like this is all happening too fast and I think that’s what’s stressing me out. Thanks again.
Aww, man. That’s rough. I’m glad that you guys have been able to start to get things situated but I’m sorry that it has been at the cost of your space. I know how hard that can be.I don’t live well with other people simply because as an autistic I require a safe place that I can go to when things feel overwhelming. But honestly, it doesn’t take being autistic to need that quiet space that is just yours. So it’s understandable that you would feel stressed at the loss of a place to relax and just be yourself in without someone else hovering even if unintentionally.
Its okay if you guys feel a little weird about it. It makes sense. How long will you have to keep these arrangements?
Thanks… I’m not sure how long we’ll be like this, but I’m sure we’ll figure out stuff… My sister will have a tutoring job at a school so she’ll be gone for probably a lot of the day so I’ll be able to take rest breaks at those times.
There you go! Sounds like there will be a little time that you can just have that space. Well, if you ever need to talk, feel free to DM me.
Alright. Thank you! <3