Tonight, I have try play guitar alittle bit. As I was playing I couldn’t play anything good. Was getting frustrated, all the negative thought coming about me abs everyone. My ego get me very anger when I can’t even play a simple song. Been playing music since high school, I still suck as a musician. I don’t even like calling myself a musician. Haven’t been disciplined in my guitar playing, just don’t have the passion to do, cuase no matter how hard I try, I just suck.
I don’t put to much press on myself, to prove all those fucking hater that they were wrong about me. That people might appreciate my music.
But I wish still to my punk rock side and not giving a fuck of what people think of me. But my insecurities get to me.
I totally get where you’re coming from about viewing yourself as a bad musician or not even one at all. I too, struggle with what is called “impostor syndrome”, I feel that way about my abilities when it comes to web developing. I spent a good year as a student learning to code and even after I graduated, I had the feeling that “I wasn’t good enough to get a job” or “I don’t feel like I really am a developer, I’m not even that good at it”. But the thing is this, you are that which you practice, by simply doing it. You don’t have to be the best to be considered a musician or anything else you have passion for. I think you need to analyze what it is about playing guitar or being a musician that you initially had passion for, that spark that made you pick up the guitar in the first place. I hope this helps! <3