@Heartsupportwall I’ve been struggling with anxiety. Even if I take my medication, sometimes I feel it overwhelm me. I bother those closest to me when I can’t cope on my own. Sucks to feel this way. I’m trying to be better, be a better version of myself. I don’t want to be the person I was, and when I reflect on my mistakes, that’s when my anxiety crushes me.
Hey friend. It surely takes time to to learn to accept our past mistakes and to live with them in peace. I too have things from my past that tends to make me feel very anxious regarding how it could affect my present relationships. What if people would see me differently if they knew? What do these past actions say about me? Am I just some kind of monster? These are tough questions that we feel in our core. Accepting our mistakes takes time.It’s a learning process that require us to be patient with ourselves, as ultimately we’re all flawed individuals. The beauty in that process is to learn from those mistakes. To make sure it can only make us be, as you said, a better version of ourselves. It could be tempting to hide, retreat and consciously deny these parts of your story. But that’s not what you do. You bravely sit down and take the time to acknowledge, because you can feel that something beautiful can grow from it, and you’re damn right. Anxiety can be extremely overwhelming though. As an anxious bean too, I understand how draining it is to wake up everyday with this knot in your stomach. It can make us freeze for a long time, stuck in the fear of moving on and, eventually, doing something wrong or being wrong. Sometimes the cost of safety is indeed overwhelming. Though once again you don’t let that defeat you. You take medications and you reach out to your loved ones - despite the feeling of bothering them. I have no doubt that they see your efforts, just like we do here. This battle can be invisible to many, though we know it is very real and present. It makes sense to feel like you’d like to progress maybe faster or differently, but I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace today and to take the time to embrace your real progress. Who were you X years ago? Are the things you do right now things you could do before? What are the areas of your life in which you can notice an effective progress, regardless of it being small or not? You are on that process of bettering yourself already, even during days when you feel behind yourself. You are constantly moving, and even setbacks are experiences that make you grow. I commend you for not letting your anxiety taking the best of you. With time, we learn to cope and deal with it more effectively. It’s still there somehow, especially when we step out of our comfort zone. But it doesn’t have to control us or make us miss our own life. You’re on that path, friend. I see the beauty of what you are doing. I see the magnificence of your efforts. I see you. And man, you’re radiant. Hold Fast. <3