My brother is a horrible person and so is his wife, they spank their kids, scream / yell at their kids and then wonder why their kids don’t listen to them, they fight all the time, my brother has been making up stuff about our 2nd oldest sister, i used to believe that the 2nd oldest sister is the narcissistic, known i realize that my brother is the narcissistic and my 2nd oldest sister isn’t the narcissistic. My brother is a jerk, was being rude to me, called me emo, made fun of that me for caring about people that struggle with mental health issues, his wife isn’t any better, she is manipulative, i told her that, eventhough i my look like I’m happy, I’m not and that there are days where i don’t want to be here, and wonder why I’m here. Her reponse: don’t think like that, i need you here. That made me upset and uncomfortable. My response: I’m not here because you want me to be here, you can’t not control my thoughts and feelings, I’m here to advocate for animals and people who are struggling.
Hey @No_one_can_save_me,
It’s great to see you! I’m so proud of you for both recognizing unhealthy behavior and standing up for yourself, first of all. That’s super admirable of you.
There’s definitely a lot of concern between your bro and his wife, that’s for sure. Their parenting methods with the children (physical punishment, yelling) and their constant fighting raise concerns about their approach to relationships and the emotional environment they create. Your growing realization that your brother exhibits narcissistic traits makes sense. Making up stories about your sister, mocking you for your empathy, and generally disrespectful behavior are worrying signs. His wife’s response – attempting to control your emotions rather than truly listening – also suggests she may be dismissive and manipulative.
You set a powerful boundary with your sister-in-law by stating your feelings clearly and refusing to be controlled. This takes incredible strength in a difficult environment. Your drive to advocate for animals and vulnerable people highlights your empathy and strong sense of purpose. Don’t let anyone, even family, diminish that.
Your emotional well-being is priority. Limit contact with your brother and sister-in-law as much as possible. Don’t engage in arguments; simply disengage or assert your boundaries calmly (“I’m not going to discuss this.”) If possible and safe for you, focus on providing a positive and kind presence for their children. You can be a role model even in the midst of a difficult family situation.
And don’t let their negativity derail your passion for advocacy. Continue to find ways to make a difference for the causes you care about. Seek out friends, teachers, counselors, or online support groups where you find empathy, understanding, and people who value your sensitivity. Talking with a therapist can give you tools to cope with your family situation and process your emotions in a healthy way.
If you are concerned for the well-being of the children, consider keeping a record of the incidents you witness. This may be useful later if you need to help them. Also, reading about and understanding narcissistic personality disorder will empower you. It can help you see more clearly that their behavior is not your fault and that you can’t “fix” them.
Remember: You are not alone. There are people who will see your worth and support your desire to make a difference in the world. Keep focusing on that, and you will find your strength.
Hi there,
First off, I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing right now with your brother and his wife. It can be incredibly challenging to navigate relationships such as these, so I want you to know that I am proud of you! I also want you to know that your feelings are valid.
It is completely understandable to feel upset and uncomfortable with your brother’s behavior, especially when it is directed toward you and your concerns over mental health. It is commendable that you are standing up for what you believe in though, and your compassion and empathy are truly admirable and can make a difference in the lives of others!
In times like these I want you to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with individuals who are supportive and understanding of your feelings if possible. Setting boundaries with them can be incredibly beneficial, and help your well-being. But, if you ever feel overwhelmed or in need of further support, do not hesitate to reach out to a professional who can provide guidance and assistance. You are strong, resilient, and capable of overcoming these challenges.
Your voice matters, and the world is a better place with you in it!
Even in the midst of your impertinent environment, you still care about the well-being of people with mental health issue this alone shows me that you are a good person and one day you are going to make a huge impact on the world. On a personal note, I learned a long time ago that you can let what people say about you hold you down or you can keep moving through the negative voices. Lastly, always remember that the only person that has a key to your future is you!
I don’t care about my brother and his wife, and their toxic behavior, I don’t feel comfortable and safe in the toxic environment that they’ve made.
I appreciate that you said that I’m a good person.
I have an appointment with my new counselor on Tuesday. So I’m be able to talk all of this stuff then.
Here’s the thing though my brother and his wife fight all the time, as for physical punishment & yelling at their kids has been going on for some time.
I’m not trying to fix them at all.
I don’t call my brother let alone his wife ever. They’re not worth my time anyways.
I already know what my triggers are.
I’m so tired of trying to make other people happy, It’s exhausting. I was told for several years that I have to make other people happy and to neglect my own needs, that my feelings don’t matter, that i don’t matter, and to stay hidden to stay quiet.
What’s the point in anything if you are forced to make others happy, for several years I’ve put others needs above my own. I’ve been hurt too
much, physically, emotionally, mentally. By everyone, everyone hurts, no motivation, my mind is a horrible neighborhood.
Im sorry that you are going through this all. Thats…really upset that you were told that you are not matter if you won’t make everyone happier. I have almost the identical situation with my parents, and i can get you so hard.
Just…yeah, its tough…and it seems that it will never end, and you will have those feelings forever…but i hope you’ll get better! If you have a chance, try to go to specialist, like psychologist. Yeah, maybe there will be a chance that it won’t help at first, but hey, why not?
Thanks for sharing here your situation, I hope you’ll get better:people_hugging:
Yeah, I can be the same way sometimes wanting the better for others over myself. I felt selfish if I thought of myself first. I learned over time I had to love myself as much and as I loved others. That meant taking care of myself first. Nothing wrong with prioritizing your self care. It takes one step at a time. One small thing first is was help me. I hope you doing can turn your neighborhood your mind into something beautiful.
HOLD FAST
No matter what anyone says you have to put yourself first. Be kind to yourself, you’ve accomplished so much and you should be proud of yourself. I am proud of you. Try taking it one step at a time, sometimes the best parts are the smallest changes. Do something that makes you happy. I hope everything gets better!
I’m aware that i need put myself first, it’s just really hard to do that.
The last several months have been difficult, I’ve tried to unalive myself several times, horrible PTSD, Schizophrenic Symptoms never ending for what felt like forever, having someone called the police on me back in January of this year. And now it’s the last day of April. I can’t get out of this depression, this void, this darkness, I’ve been having horrible nightmares where I’m drowning myself. I’ve had these nightmares for a while.
I’ve been through a lot of terrible things in my life,
Lost my dad 22 years ago, my mom has been in and out of hospitals and pysch wards for years.
10 years ago i tried to unalive myself.
4 years ago my grandpa attacked me and almost unalived me, school was horrible, home wasn’t any better. My first year of high school i tried alcohol for the first time.