My dad ended up in the hospital about a week ago for gallbladder surgery but there were complications there was leakage and there was an infection and he had a heart attack at the same time. My older half brother contacts me and tells me my dad is in the hospital and asked me of I could go see him so I went last Wednesday to go see him I was going to get clearance to go upstairs and at the last moment I couldn’t go in. I speak with my brother later in the day he told me my dad is in worse shape than expected he has tubes everywhere and was very weak speaking what bothered me was that he told my older brother that he didn’t want to see me. So my piece of shit father who is dying had absolutely no remorse for his sins and I went to go see him in a gesture of good will and his supposed wife and him talk shit about me. I AM done with him and he may to go hell and rest in piss along with his piece of shit undocumented wife from shithole el Salvador. I don’t have a father and I will never have one. Fuck him, fuck his bullshit family and take their millions and shove it up their asses.
Hello ranma1983,
I’m sorry to hear about this situation with your dad. I can see how this would be upsetting. It takes a lot to swallow one’s feelings and to still show up, even though you weren’t on the best terms, and to experience such a rejection is difficult. It sounds as though you have been treated unfairly by them. And it’s unfortunate that has been your experience.
Your dad may not be apologetic for the things he did towards you, and though I don’t know what they are, I can say that whatever he did and the negative feelings he caused you to feel are not any less wrong. A person’s inability to understand how they have hurt us does not invalidate your feelings of hurt.
I hope you are able to get the support that you need to further discuss your feelings regarding your father and to overcome and heal from the hurt that is there. 
Hi @ranma1983,
I’m sorry about your father dying soon. I will probably feel depress or upset if my close loved-one died too. You have the right to feel frustrated at your father. Father may be a horrible parent but at least he took care of his family & children. You have the right not to meet your father in the hospital if you feel uncomfortable. There are a lot of bad parents that I met in my life. I always question “Why are you parent if you can’t take care or treat children badly?” It’s same thing with people that abuse their pets. People think child or pet is like a toy in which it’s not.
Your father may be jerk but at least try to communicate your frustration. Someday you may grief about your father that passed away. I always tell everyone “Always spend with your loved one, the best you can” I had a lot of deaths of my family for the last few years. It was difficult for me to moved on. If your father doesn’t care about you, at least your are better person than him. You are there to support him when he died.
Many people mistreat me in the past but I try to be nice toward someone. You never know what’s going in their mind. If you they swear or hit me, I would just act civilized. Even if that person doesn’t care about me but one day they might regret. There aren’t a lot of kind people in this world. I had help a lot of people in their lives and it’s nice to see them thank me for being a good impact in their life.
Hi @ranma1983
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with us. I am sure you are going through a mixture of feelings right now that can be very overwhelming. While your father may have mistreated you, you still showed up to show him support in a really difficult time. Be proud of yourself for doing so; like @Shan said, it is really difficult to swallow pride and be there for someone when they have wronged you. Regardless of the tension between you and your father, his health must be a concern and evoke emotions you did not expect to feel. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel. If you feel unsettled visiting with him, that is also okay. You have the right to feel whatever you do during this difficult time.
At the end of the day, we cannot control other peoples actions. We can only control our own. If your father mistreated you, that is his prerogative, and sadly, there is nothing you could have done for a different outcome. What you can control is how you act and treat others. Even with the way he treated you, you still went to visit in a time of urgency. No matter how frustrated or angry you may be with him, show him compassion during this difficult time. Be the bigger person; be different than he was to you. That way, you can live your life knowing you did everything you could to do the right thing. You can live your life with a clean conscience, knowing you acted with grace towards everyone around you, even those who have wronged you.
Approach this situation in whichever way is most comfortable for you and that you will look back on and approve of. Again, this is a really difficult situation you are going through so be patient and kind to yourself. Prioritize self-care and doing things that help clear your mind, like walks, reading, journaling, or drawing.
We are here to support you in any way we can. Sending you love and hugs. <3