Since i came to my grandmas house I have been not okay at all, my aunts whenever i do a small mistake they would get mad at me and whatever but when it comes to my cousin(she’s older) when she makes a mistake they would be like “oh no don’t worry”, I know that’s childish but when my cousin gets sad they would cheer her up… but me nope I’m an outcast here i hate it they made me hate my self more i hate everything i do i hate how i look i hate everything about me, they make fun of my SAT score it’s not that good so I’m taking it again when they knew they started to make fun of me, when I answer wrong they’ll say it’s because u didn’t study for your SAT, every mistake i make they laugh, I’m sorry I’m stupid I’m sorry I’m not perfect I’m sorry for just being here.
Do they know that they make you feel like this?
I’m pretty sure they do it on purpose
If you had a best friend who was living with the same kind of circumstances that you are, what would you tell him? Would you tell him that he should hate himself because he’s not the family favorite? Would you tell him that he should feel sorry, even though you know he’s doing his best? Would you tell him to hate himself because a remarkably childish family is withholding approval?
You have landed in a dysfunctional family. There’s no need to take it personally. Perhaps you’ve heard of an experiment where there were two classrooms of children, of about the same age and level of academic performance. They sent teachers to classrooms. One teacher was informed that the children were underperforming, and not very motivated. The other teacher was told that her class was filled with bright, eager and high-performing students. Fortunately, the experiment was terminated quickly, before significant harm was done. However the students in the class where the teacher had low expectations did in fact perform poorly. The students in the “smart” class lived up to their expectations. Then two new teachers were introduced, and this time, those who were previously reported as underperforming, were now designated as the “smart” kids. The previously “smart” kids with an labeled with the label of “underperforming.” As expected, the previously “smart” kids underperformed, and the previously “dumb” kids excelled.
The point is, it’s very easy to allow other people’s opinions of us to affect our performance and feelings of self-worth. In your current circumstances, you will need to develop a strong defense against their psychological/emotional tactics. Think of it as good practice, for those inevitable encounters you will face as an adult, when others are trying to advance their status at your expense.
I’m sorry that you’re sorry! Stop being sorry, unless you really have something to be sorry for!
And now, for your edification, present the Bob Newhart approach to therapy:
is there a family member you can talk to about this?
I talked to my mom about it and she talked to them but it just made things worse so staying quiet is a better option
I don’t know what to do then, I’ve never been in a situation like this so I don’t really know what to do. Maybe you should ask @Micro.
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